Thinking of My Own Mortality

Photo by Gratisography @ Pexels

In 2011, a fellow employee died. He was only 35. He was stabbed many times in his home with wounds on the face, neck, back, and feet. The villain had the intention to kill.

My fellow employee’s decision of letting a stranger into his house was a wrong decision on his part. But who would’ve thought that a moment’s desire could kill?

The poor fellow was almost 6 feet tall, and who would’ve thought that he could be defenseless unable to protect himself from the attack. He’s not only tall but thickset. He had muscular limbs.

Mortality defines the human condition.

– Drew Gilpin Faust

It’s an old-time story, and you may be wondering why I suddenly thought of it.

This afternoon I went to visit a doctor. I brought him my APE results, and he wanted me to get additional laboratory tests because of the initial results from the annual APE.

Just like the story above, getting myself tested makes me think of my own mortality. Life is transient.

Before, I think of preparations before my ‘own’ candle extinguishes. I realize nobody can be prepared. My beloved husband expressed his desire to die because of the pain and suffering from his illness. But with good health, who would want to die?

While we all have our beliefs and faith, death still brings a gloomy thought.

But I refuse to give in. I wanted to be happy despite the loneliness that sets in from time to time. I want to be there for my children and the other wonderful people in my life.

When the time comes, I hope I can still smile.

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