That Sad Look in Her Eyes

It’s been almost two weeks since my mother in-law was hospitalized. Nanay underwent blood transfusion. Her hemoglobin content dropped off so she was given blood transfusion. She needed four bags to conquer that life-threatening situation. With God’s mercy, she was able to recover in a week’s time. Little by little, her color returned.

Though she can already move slowly, she still wheezes going to the comfort room. Little movements make her pant, even when coming out of the bed. Aside from these observations, she easily forgets. She looses focus and cannot enjoy simple conversations. She had lost her sense of humor, too, and mostly appears gloomy. She seems to get irritable with small matters, and seldom smiles. She demands attention and wishes for the presence of particular persons which seemed to have forgotten to pay her a visit.

Senility is tagging along. It is really heart-breaking to see a once-active woman being slowly eaten away with aging. It is frightening, too, that we will all pass across this stage (except maybe for those whose contract will be terminated earlier). It is a sad thought to feel you are left isolated when once you toiled for others, or helped a lot in small and big ways. Where have they all gone?

I try most of the time to bring her into conversations. I know and feel that she wanted the others to be there and be the ones in my place. I should feel touchy but I could not help feeling anything but pity. I feel she wants them to visit and talk to her endlessly. It really makes her very sad to wait for the others that she wishes to come and visit.

Thanks to her favorite grand daughter who volunteered to sleep with her in her room. She hadn’t failed her Lola who did not fail her also when she was still studying and in dire need of money and support for her schooling. I know her presence is doing a lot to conceal the loneliness.

That Sad Look in Her Eyes

It’s been almost two weeks since my mother in-law was hospitalized. Nanay underwent blood transfusion. Her hemoglobin content dropped off so she was given blood transfusion. She needed four bags to conquer that life-threatening situation. With God’s mercy, she was able to recover in a week’s time. Little by little, her color returned.

Though she can already move slowly, she still wheezes going to the comfort room. Little movements make her pant, even when coming out of the bed. Aside from these observations, she easily forgets. She looses focus and cannot enjoy simple conversations. She had lost her sense of humor, too, and mostly appears gloomy. She seems to get irritable with small matters, and seldom smiles. She demands attention and wishes for the presence of particular persons which seemed to have forgotten to pay her a visit.

Senility is tagging along. It is really heart-breaking to see a once-active woman being slowly eaten away with aging. It is frightening, too, that we will all pass across this stage (except maybe for those whose contract will be terminated earlier). It is a sad thought to feel you are left isolated when once you toiled for others, or helped a lot in small and big ways. Where have they all gone?

I try most of the time to bring her into conversations. I know and feel that she wanted the others to be there and be the ones in my place. I should feel touchy but I could not help feeling anything but pity. I feel she wants them to visit and talk to her endlessly. It really makes her very sad to wait for the others that she wishes to come and visit.

Thanks to her favorite grand daughter who volunteered to sleep with her in her room. She hadn’t failed her Lola who did not fail her also when she was still studying and in dire need of money and support for her schooling. I know her presence is doing a lot to conceal the loneliness.

A Purse is But a Rag Unless You Have Something in It*

How true.  Fancy a purse without money in it.  That would make one feel miserable. 

The frequently heard, “Don’t say you don’t have money because a coin is money still.”  Along with this, some would say that repeating the phrase will really make your life miserable and without money.  Baseless as it is, I view the saying as words of inspiration – not to consider lack as hindrance to pursue a dream, or as reason to surrender.

The mind is like a rag, too, without knowledge and wisdom.   When devoid of learning and required information, the mind is useless.  Therefore, the owner feels tattered, too, and unconfident.  Wonder how true the claim of a friend that his brain is more expensive than other brains because it is not overused.  Not true, of course, because that was spoken in jest.

My purse is not brimming with money.  It is light even with money in it.  That saddens me once in a while, but it doesn’t keep me from going on to seek ways to make it a little heavy, and not overflowing.  Just enough money in it makes me feel I am not void of sense.  That somehow I make something out of my existence – to provide, and be of help if necessary.

My mind is not of a genius either.  It craves for knowledge, and it still is up to this time.  But when crammed with concerns, regrets, and sad and angry thoughts, it is better to be without its fill.

 

* H. Melville, Moby-Dick, page 13.

A Purse is But a Rag Unless You Have Something in It*

How true.  Fancy a purse without money in it.  That would make one feel miserable. 

The frequently heard, “Don’t say you don’t have money because a coin is money still.”  Along with this, some would say that repeating the phrase will really make your life miserable and without money.  Baseless as it is, I view the saying as words of inspiration – not to consider lack as hindrance to pursue a dream, or as reason to surrender.

The mind is like a rag, too, without knowledge and wisdom.   When devoid of learning and required information, the mind is useless.  Therefore, the owner feels tattered, too, and unconfident.  Wonder how true the claim of a friend that his brain is more expensive than other brains because it is not overused.  Not true, of course, because that was spoken in jest.

My purse is not brimming with money.  It is light even with money in it.  That saddens me once in a while, but it doesn’t keep me from going on to seek ways to make it a little heavy, and not overflowing.  Just enough money in it makes me feel I am not void of sense.  That somehow I make something out of my existence – to provide, and be of help if necessary.

My mind is not of a genius either.  It craves for knowledge, and it still is up to this time.  But when crammed with concerns, regrets, and sad and angry thoughts, it is better to be without its fill.

 

* H. Melville, Moby-Dick, page 13.

When Left With Not a Choice

It will always be better for couples to live apart from in-laws, or relatives. It will always be better not to have their home among or with them. To live as husband and wife without meddlers and influences is like living without restrictions from unwanted people. It is like living spontaneously and peacefully.

Of course, everybody needs somebody. On occasion. But couples do not necessarily need to live with in-laws and relatives to make a successful marriage.

In abnormal situations though, couples have to live with the disadvantages of living among or with them. The task is never ever easy.

Some in-laws eye a wife’s or a husband’s every move. They fault-find and she or he is a prey, often nitpicked because she or he is a stranger in the house or among the group. Often an object of ridicule, the poor wife or husband, tries to win in-laws’ approval or acceptance to no avail. The stranger is left with disappointments that often lead to anger.

There are in-laws, too, who compete for the attention and approval of elders. They work out scheming ways so that their siblings’ wives or husbands, together with their siblings, will be despised by the elders or the parents. Incomprehensible tactics perhaps for others but there are reasons, and one of them is the prized heirloom of the family, or the big favors that can be obtained in the future.

You will be surprised that there are in-laws who will not allow anybody, especially the wives or husbands of their children, or siblings, to outdo, or to overtake them, with the favors awarded (even as simple as food rations), or with the carrying out of responsibilities. They calculate, and they should not be left behind, or overridden. They do not care if others are left behind, or overridden but not them, or else it will be like waging war to them.

A lot of in-laws are cold and unsympathetic, too, because of envy, insecurities, and frustrations. They see something in a son’s wife or a daughter’s husband or a sibling’s wife or husband that is lacking from them. Their incapacity to obtain a valuable possession, for example, leads them to envy and hatred. This therefore results to unwarranted criticisms and character assassinations. Poisonous mouths can kill and so they persist with their relentless attacks.

If you want to know deeper why they are envious and insecure beings, try to background-check. You will discover the many reasons: from their own lives’ frustrations to the many personality deficiencies, from want of attention to avarice of getting everybody’s attention or the prominent figure’s attention, and from simply wanting to compete to dangerously wanting to get rid of anybody in the way.

I know for a fact that not all in-laws are insufferable, cold, and vile. There are always exemptions. And to those who are blessed to live with adorable in-laws, hold them dear to your heart.

When Left With Not a Choice

It will always be better for couples to live apart from in-laws, or relatives. It will always be better not to have their home among or with them. To live as husband and wife without meddlers and influences is like living without restrictions from unwanted people. It is like living spontaneously and peacefully.

Of course, everybody needs somebody. On occasion. But couples do not necessarily need to live with in-laws and relatives to make a successful marriage.

In abnormal situations though, couples have to live with the disadvantages of living among or with them. The task is never ever easy.

Some in-laws eye a wife’s or a husband’s every move. They fault-find and she or he is a prey, often nitpicked because she or he is a stranger in the house or among the group. Often an object of ridicule, the poor wife or husband, tries to win in-laws’ approval or acceptance to no avail. The stranger is left with disappointments that often lead to anger.

There are in-laws, too, who compete for the attention and approval of elders. They work out scheming ways so that their siblings’ wives or husbands, together with their siblings, will be despised by the elders or the parents. Incomprehensible tactics perhaps for others but there are reasons, and one of them is the prized heirloom of the family, or the big favors that can be obtained in the future.

You will be surprised that there are in-laws who will not allow anybody, especially the wives or husbands of their children, or siblings, to outdo, or to overtake them, with the favors awarded (even as simple as food rations), or with the carrying out of responsibilities. They calculate, and they should not be left behind, or overridden. They do not care if others are left behind, or overridden but not them, or else it will be like waging war to them.

A lot of in-laws are cold and unsympathetic, too, because of envy, insecurities, and frustrations. They see something in a son’s wife or a daughter’s husband or a sibling’s wife or husband that is lacking from them. Their incapacity to obtain a valuable possession, for example, leads them to envy and hatred. This therefore results to unwarranted criticisms and character assassinations. Poisonous mouths can kill and so they persist with their relentless attacks.

If you want to know deeper why they are envious and insecure beings, try to background-check. You will discover the many reasons: from their own lives’ frustrations to the many personality deficiencies, from want of attention to avarice of getting everybody’s attention or the prominent figure’s attention, and from simply wanting to compete to dangerously wanting to get rid of anybody in the way.

I know for a fact that not all in-laws are insufferable, cold, and vile. There are always exemptions. And to those who are blessed to live with adorable in-laws, hold them dear to your heart.

He Says the Darnest Things

You always hear him cuss. 5 per centavo.

To Daryl he will ask the question out of the blue: Lumaki na ba, anak? (Has it grown bigger, son?)

To the gays that march the narrow path in front of the house: Ang gaganda naman ng mga miss na ito! he he (These girls are beautiful!) he he

To me: May agiw ka yata sa ilong. (You have cobwebs in the nose.) That is pertaining to the filth in my nose.

To the other motorists who he thinks are failures, or does not know or follow the road rules:

Asuwang! (Evil creature!)

Bobo! (Simpleton!)

Di ka pa sikat, laos ka na! (You're not popular yet but you have lost it already!)

– And a lot more.

Of course, the other motorists do not gather this because we are in the car, and they have no idea what he's mumbling about.

Peace, Papsie!

To others he's a simple man,

And fame he's never had,

But he's the greatest man we know,

He also is our dearest Papsie.

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY, PAPSIE! – with all our love..

And to all fathers in the world: HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!