5th of the 23rd

She had gone her way to help us in our times of need and especially when Papa died. – the fifth sentence of my 23rd post.

She would always remind us how indebted we are to her. This is not assassinating her character but my aunt is like that – helping, giving financial assistance and at the same time hurling words that would knife you in pieces. But that is just she.

When will a person in need have the right to retaliate, with words, too? No chance for beggars to grumble but to grumble within. When a person is in dire need, he or she would just swallow the bitterness of the situation, and swallow everything including the fish bones.

But when I started to work and earn money, I began to understand her. Life is not that easy. The responsibility one has to feed one’s self and others is tiring sometimes because everything heavy seems all that is to be encountered – from being heavily-laden to being heavy-hearted. And each day you wish you will become a heavy hitter someday to accommodate all the concerns.

She definitely did not go abroad for herself alone. She went to a far away land for her dreams to help. She desired that her siblings and their families would do something valuable to uplift their conditions with the considerable help that comes from her. Some she had helped became successful and some remained in the same situation. Some she adored and became her favorite and some she hated because of one or two reasons, one of which is being a burden all throughout.

She did not tell me those because we were not close. We seldom met before but I could identify with the circumstances. She spoke her mind most of the time because she was frustrated and felt helpless. And maybe hopeless, too, for these people – who just wanted to be burdens, and to be dependent all their lives.

I revere her for being courageous living alone in an alien city, and for giving something of herself by helping. I am saddened of the fact that I was not there during the time she was ailing until her death. All because we did not become close. All because I was infused with ideas that obliterated her good side.

This is a tag I came across Slim Whale’s blog. Taking the challenge is more than a challenge. I have to hark back to the lonely death of my Aunt Estella.

5th of the 23rd

She had gone her way to help us in our times of need and especially when Papa died. – the fifth sentence of my 23rd post.

She would always remind us how indebted we are to her. This is not assassinating her character but my aunt is like that – helping, giving financial assistance and at the same time hurling words that would knife you in pieces. But that is just she.

When will a person in need have the right to retaliate, with words, too? No chance for beggars to grumble but to grumble within. When a person is in dire need, he or she would just swallow the bitterness of the situation, and swallow everything including the fish bones.

But when I started to work and earn money, I began to understand her. Life is not that easy. The responsibility one has to feed one’s self and others is tiring sometimes because everything heavy seems all that is to be encountered – from being heavily-laden to being heavy-hearted. And each day you wish you will become a heavy hitter someday to accommodate all the concerns.

She definitely did not go abroad for herself alone. She went to a far away land for her dreams to help. She desired that her siblings and their families would do something valuable to uplift their conditions with the considerable help that comes from her. Some she had helped became successful and some remained in the same situation. Some she adored and became her favorite and some she hated because of one or two reasons, one of which is being a burden all throughout.

She did not tell me those because we were not close. We seldom met before but I could identify with the circumstances. She spoke her mind most of the time because she was frustrated and felt helpless. And maybe hopeless, too, for these people – who just wanted to be burdens, and to be dependent all their lives.

I revere her for being courageous living alone in an alien city, and for giving something of herself by helping. I am saddened of the fact that I was not there during the time she was ailing until her death. All because we did not become close. All because I was infused with ideas that obliterated her good side.

This is a tag I came across Slim Whale’s blog. Taking the challenge is more than a challenge. I have to hark back to the lonely death of my Aunt Estella.

5th of the 23rd

She had gone her way to help us in our times of need and especially when Papa died. – the fifth sentence of my 23rd post.

She would always remind us how indebted we are to her. This is not assassinating her character but my aunt is like that – helping, giving financial assistance and at the same time hurling words that would knife you in pieces. But that is just she.

When will a person in need have the right to retaliate, with words, too? No chance for beggars to grumble but to grumble within. When a person is in dire need, he or she would just swallow the bitterness of the situation, and swallow everything including the fish bones.

But when I started to work and earn money, I began to understand her. Life is not that easy. The responsibility one has to feed one’s self and others is tiring sometimes because everything heavy seems all that is to be encountered – from being heavily-laden to being heavy-hearted. And each day you wish you will become a heavy hitter someday to accommodate all the concerns.

She definitely did not go abroad for herself alone. She went to a far away land for her dreams to help. She desired that her siblings and their families would do something valuable to uplift their conditions with the considerable help that comes from her. Some she had helped became successful and some remained in the same situation. Some she adored and became her favorite and some she hated because of one or two reasons, one of which is being a burden all throughout.

She did not tell me those because we were not close. We seldom met before but I could identify with the circumstances. She spoke her mind most of the time because she was frustrated and felt helpless. And maybe hopeless, too, for these people – who just wanted to be burdens, and to be dependent all their lives.

I revere her for being courageous living alone in an alien city, and for giving something of herself by helping. I am saddened of the fact that I was not there during the time she was ailing until her death. All because we did not become close. All because I was infused with ideas that obliterated her good side.

This is a tag I came across Slim Whale’s blog. Taking the challenge is more than a challenge. I have to hark back to the lonely death of my Aunt Estella.

Moments

Delightful
s1
Yesterday, together with Kay and Daryl, we went to the grocery store to buy items they would bring to the field trip. Being busy the past few days, we don’t find much time to hang around each other. It is such a delight to notice how my kids have grown. Daryl is already taller than his Ate Kay who is a budding woman now. I cannot help be affected by the stares people give her. It was like just months ago when I would also bring them to the grocery store by myself via PUJ – they were so little, Kay with pinkish cheeks and Daryl with his chubbiness. They were a sight to behold even then. They were tots wild about knowledge, curious about every little thing, bubbling with fun and excitement all along our trips to the grocery store.
Ecstatic >s2
Last night, I turned off Papsie’s cel phone while charging. Kay must have left it on. They say to give long life to the battery, one should turn off the phone while charging and so I did. After minutes of organizing the clothes, washed and dried during the wee hours of the night last Saturday, I checked the phone and noticed that charging was complete so I turned it on to check the alarm if it was already set. The welcome note said “ikaw lamang ang iibigin Bing“. Kinda sixties, no? I smiled and looked at the familiar figure lying on the bed. The idea of growing old with him gave that cloud nine feeling.
Sads3
I had an experience with an officemate who at one time (was a Saturday) approached me and borrowed money. I was not able to give her the money but gave a suggestion to go to one of our officemates who lets people lend with a 5% interest a month. She told me she could not do that because “that woman seemed unapproachable”. She also told me that she will return the money by Monday. Upon hearing the condition, I volunteered to borrow money for her – a chivalry that I never thought would make me sad later on. Monday, Tuesday, until Saturday, no money was returned. To top it all, my officemate never talked to me voluntarily to explain what happened. The first time I talked to her was Tuesday and the next was Thursday and alibis were made up to cover the inadequacy. So I talked to the person who had let me borrow the money and found out that this officemate of mine is notorious for that habit of borrowing and not paying or paying that will take later than the time that was promised. I also found out that she has outstanding balances for the two loans from the “unapproachable woman”.
Dishearteneds4
During an audit, one of the internal auditors declared an OFI (opportunity for improvement) to utilize correspondingly the forms. She noticed that there is a portion with a heading Possible Source of Defect and was left void. One of the supervisors defensively remarked that they couldn’t write the sources of defect because that space is not enough. Sensing that they didnt get the point of the internal auditor who had explained also that they could utilize the data in their graphical presentations, I came to the rescue and told them that they need not worry because what would be stated will not be taken against them and will not be conclusive (which explains the word ‘possible’) and had to be investigated still to solve the problem on defects. Furthermore, I added that they could use short phrases, e.g. – chips – uneven wire length. Insisting, as always, the supervisor pointed out on some impossibilities that made the discussions longer. I was disheartened by the fact that even some of the employees are substandard.
Disappointed s5
I don’t get to talk that often anymore to someone who was a close friend once. I have this attitude that once I get disappointed with a person, I find it difficult to retain the flame of friendship which was very strong before. I find it hard to trust once again, to share my innermost feelings again and to be joyful with her presence. I loathe her for implicitly competing with me about insignificant matters when I don’t even think of competition because we are friends. I am annoyed with her stupid acts and opinions. I basically fell out of love with a friend who is inconsistent and unreliable.

Moments

Delightful
s1
Yesterday, together with Kay and Daryl, we went to the grocery store to buy items they would bring to the field trip. Being busy the past few days, we don’t find much time to hang around each other. It is such a delight to notice how my kids have grown. Daryl is already taller than his Ate Kay who is a budding woman now. I cannot help be affected by the stares people give her. It was like just months ago when I would also bring them to the grocery store by myself via PUJ – they were so little, Kay with pinkish cheeks and Daryl with his chubbiness. They were a sight to behold even then. They were tots wild about knowledge, curious about every little thing, bubbling with fun and excitement all along our trips to the grocery store.
Ecstatic >s2
Last night, I turned off Papsie’s cel phone while charging. Kay must have left it on. They say to give long life to the battery, one should turn off the phone while charging and so I did. After minutes of organizing the clothes, washed and dried during the wee hours of the night last Saturday, I checked the phone and noticed that charging was complete so I turned it on to check the alarm if it was already set. The welcome note said “ikaw lamang ang iibigin Bing“. Kinda sixties, no? I smiled and looked at the familiar figure lying on the bed. The idea of growing old with him gave that cloud nine feeling.
Sads3
I had an experience with an officemate who at one time (was a Saturday) approached me and borrowed money. I was not able to give her the money but gave a suggestion to go to one of our officemates who lets people lend with a 5% interest a month. She told me she could not do that because “that woman seemed unapproachable”. She also told me that she will return the money by Monday. Upon hearing the condition, I volunteered to borrow money for her – a chivalry that I never thought would make me sad later on. Monday, Tuesday, until Saturday, no money was returned. To top it all, my officemate never talked to me voluntarily to explain what happened. The first time I talked to her was Tuesday and the next was Thursday and alibis were made up to cover the inadequacy. So I talked to the person who had let me borrow the money and found out that this officemate of mine is notorious for that habit of borrowing and not paying or paying that will take later than the time that was promised. I also found out that she has outstanding balances for the two loans from the “unapproachable woman”.
Dishearteneds4
During an audit, one of the internal auditors declared an OFI (opportunity for improvement) to utilize correspondingly the forms. She noticed that there is a portion with a heading Possible Source of Defect and was left void. One of the supervisors defensively remarked that they couldn’t write the sources of defect because that space is not enough. Sensing that they didnt get the point of the internal auditor who had explained also that they could utilize the data in their graphical presentations, I came to the rescue and told them that they need not worry because what would be stated will not be taken against them and will not be conclusive (which explains the word ‘possible’) and had to be investigated still to solve the problem on defects. Furthermore, I added that they could use short phrases, e.g. – chips – uneven wire length. Insisting, as always, the supervisor pointed out on some impossibilities that made the discussions longer. I was disheartened by the fact that even some of the employees are substandard.
Disappointed s5
I don’t get to talk that often anymore to someone who was a close friend once. I have this attitude that once I get disappointed with a person, I find it difficult to retain the flame of friendship which was very strong before. I find it hard to trust once again, to share my innermost feelings again and to be joyful with her presence. I loathe her for implicitly competing with me about insignificant matters when I don’t even think of competition because we are friends. I am annoyed with her stupid acts and opinions. I basically fell out of love with a friend who is inconsistent and unreliable.

Moments

Delightful
s1
Yesterday, together with Kay and Daryl, we went to the grocery store to buy items they would bring to the field trip. Being busy the past few days, we don’t find much time to hang around each other. It is such a delight to notice how my kids have grown. Daryl is already taller than his Ate Kay who is a budding woman now. I cannot help be affected by the stares people give her. It was like just months ago when I would also bring them to the grocery store by myself via PUJ – they were so little, Kay with pinkish cheeks and Daryl with his chubbiness. They were a sight to behold even then. They were tots wild about knowledge, curious about every little thing, bubbling with fun and excitement all along our trips to the grocery store.
Ecstatic >s2
Last night, I turned off Papsie’s cel phone while charging. Kay must have left it on. They say to give long life to the battery, one should turn off the phone while charging and so I did. After minutes of organizing the clothes, washed and dried during the wee hours of the night last Saturday, I checked the phone and noticed that charging was complete so I turned it on to check the alarm if it was already set. The welcome note said “ikaw lamang ang iibigin Bing“. Kinda sixties, no? I smiled and looked at the familiar figure lying on the bed. The idea of growing old with him gave that cloud nine feeling.
Sads3
I had an experience with an officemate who at one time (was a Saturday) approached me and borrowed money. I was not able to give her the money but gave a suggestion to go to one of our officemates who lets people lend with a 5% interest a month. She told me she could not do that because “that woman seemed unapproachable”. She also told me that she will return the money by Monday. Upon hearing the condition, I volunteered to borrow money for her – a chivalry that I never thought would make me sad later on. Monday, Tuesday, until Saturday, no money was returned. To top it all, my officemate never talked to me voluntarily to explain what happened. The first time I talked to her was Tuesday and the next was Thursday and alibis were made up to cover the inadequacy. So I talked to the person who had let me borrow the money and found out that this officemate of mine is notorious for that habit of borrowing and not paying or paying that will take later than the time that was promised. I also found out that she has outstanding balances for the two loans from the “unapproachable woman”.
Dishearteneds4
During an audit, one of the internal auditors declared an OFI (opportunity for improvement) to utilize correspondingly the forms. She noticed that there is a portion with a heading Possible Source of Defect and was left void. One of the supervisors defensively remarked that they couldn’t write the sources of defect because that space is not enough. Sensing that they didnt get the point of the internal auditor who had explained also that they could utilize the data in their graphical presentations, I came to the rescue and told them that they need not worry because what would be stated will not be taken against them and will not be conclusive (which explains the word ‘possible’) and had to be investigated still to solve the problem on defects. Furthermore, I added that they could use short phrases, e.g. – chips – uneven wire length. Insisting, as always, the supervisor pointed out on some impossibilities that made the discussions longer. I was disheartened by the fact that even some of the employees are substandard.
Disappointed s5
I don’t get to talk that often anymore to someone who was a close friend once. I have this attitude that once I get disappointed with a person, I find it difficult to retain the flame of friendship which was very strong before. I find it hard to trust once again, to share my innermost feelings again and to be joyful with her presence. I loathe her for implicitly competing with me about insignificant matters when I don’t even think of competition because we are friends. I am annoyed with her stupid acts and opinions. I basically fell out of love with a friend who is inconsistent and unreliable.

In Her Own Little Ways

nanay and grace


Grace is Papsie’s niece, daughter of her elder sister. Just recently, her father was brought to the hospital because of a difficulty in breathing. He was diagnosed having a heart ailment.

Papsie, being ever present during situations like these, was the one who had offered generously his time and service to bring them to the hospital when they took turns tending their father who was later confined. We did not hear him complain though it required him to go back and forth. This was an effort for him because with his condition, he gets tired easily.
Such attribute really made me adore my husband. With the much indifference he experienced with his kith and kin, he would not take those against them. He would be ever ready to help at all times, to do his small part as brother, or friend, or son, or wife, or father.
Perhaps Grace saw it – the thoughtfulness and the graciousness of his mother’s brother. It did not end by her saying ‘thank you’ and bringing three Jollibee pies. She gave Papsie a short letter last October 14, 2005.
Dearest Tito Dan,
I just want you to know that I truly appreciate your help during those times na nasa hospital si Papa and this is my little way of saying thank you, sana di ka magsawa ^__^ Thank you very much!!!
Grace
Coming home from work that day, he showed me right away the letter. I was also touched by the letter then cooed, “Naks, touched ka, ‘no?” approaching him by the sink. He cannot look at me because he was teary-eyed already. No other words but with a broken voice, he uttered, “Oo…
Pondering, I now realized why Grace is special to my mother-in-law. She is a person who readily reciprocates love and care. In her own little ways, she takes time to say a heartfelt thank you. Maybe for others it would be hypocrisy or pretense, but for us, especially for me, the joy that letter gave Papsie is more than a way of showing gratitude.
Keep it up, Mary Grace! You made a difference.