5th of the 23rd

She had gone her way to help us in our times of need and especially when Papa died. – the fifth sentence of my 23rd post.

She would always remind us how indebted we are to her. This is not assassinating her character but my aunt is like that – helping, giving financial assistance and at the same time hurling words that would knife you in pieces. But that is just she.

When will a person in need have the right to retaliate, with words, too? No chance for beggars to grumble but to grumble within. When a person is in dire need, he or she would just swallow the bitterness of the situation, and swallow everything including the fish bones.

But when I started to work and earn money, I began to understand her. Life is not that easy. The responsibility one has to feed one’s self and others is tiring sometimes because everything heavy seems all that is to be encountered – from being heavily-laden to being heavy-hearted. And each day you wish you will become a heavy hitter someday to accommodate all the concerns.

She definitely did not go abroad for herself alone. She went to a far away land for her dreams to help. She desired that her siblings and their families would do something valuable to uplift their conditions with the considerable help that comes from her. Some she had helped became successful and some remained in the same situation. Some she adored and became her favorite and some she hated because of one or two reasons, one of which is being a burden all throughout.

She did not tell me those because we were not close. We seldom met before but I could identify with the circumstances. She spoke her mind most of the time because she was frustrated and felt helpless. And maybe hopeless, too, for these people – who just wanted to be burdens, and to be dependent all their lives.

I revere her for being courageous living alone in an alien city, and for giving something of herself by helping. I am saddened of the fact that I was not there during the time she was ailing until her death. All because we did not become close. All because I was infused with ideas that obliterated her good side.

This is a tag I came across Slim Whale’s blog. Taking the challenge is more than a challenge. I have to hark back to the lonely death of my Aunt Estella.

5th of the 23rd

She had gone her way to help us in our times of need and especially when Papa died. – the fifth sentence of my 23rd post.

She would always remind us how indebted we are to her. This is not assassinating her character but my aunt is like that – helping, giving financial assistance and at the same time hurling words that would knife you in pieces. But that is just she.

When will a person in need have the right to retaliate, with words, too? No chance for beggars to grumble but to grumble within. When a person is in dire need, he or she would just swallow the bitterness of the situation, and swallow everything including the fish bones.

But when I started to work and earn money, I began to understand her. Life is not that easy. The responsibility one has to feed one’s self and others is tiring sometimes because everything heavy seems all that is to be encountered – from being heavily-laden to being heavy-hearted. And each day you wish you will become a heavy hitter someday to accommodate all the concerns.

She definitely did not go abroad for herself alone. She went to a far away land for her dreams to help. She desired that her siblings and their families would do something valuable to uplift their conditions with the considerable help that comes from her. Some she had helped became successful and some remained in the same situation. Some she adored and became her favorite and some she hated because of one or two reasons, one of which is being a burden all throughout.

She did not tell me those because we were not close. We seldom met before but I could identify with the circumstances. She spoke her mind most of the time because she was frustrated and felt helpless. And maybe hopeless, too, for these people – who just wanted to be burdens, and to be dependent all their lives.

I revere her for being courageous living alone in an alien city, and for giving something of herself by helping. I am saddened of the fact that I was not there during the time she was ailing until her death. All because we did not become close. All because I was infused with ideas that obliterated her good side.

This is a tag I came across Slim Whale’s blog. Taking the challenge is more than a challenge. I have to hark back to the lonely death of my Aunt Estella.

5th of the 23rd

She had gone her way to help us in our times of need and especially when Papa died. – the fifth sentence of my 23rd post.

She would always remind us how indebted we are to her. This is not assassinating her character but my aunt is like that – helping, giving financial assistance and at the same time hurling words that would knife you in pieces. But that is just she.

When will a person in need have the right to retaliate, with words, too? No chance for beggars to grumble but to grumble within. When a person is in dire need, he or she would just swallow the bitterness of the situation, and swallow everything including the fish bones.

But when I started to work and earn money, I began to understand her. Life is not that easy. The responsibility one has to feed one’s self and others is tiring sometimes because everything heavy seems all that is to be encountered – from being heavily-laden to being heavy-hearted. And each day you wish you will become a heavy hitter someday to accommodate all the concerns.

She definitely did not go abroad for herself alone. She went to a far away land for her dreams to help. She desired that her siblings and their families would do something valuable to uplift their conditions with the considerable help that comes from her. Some she had helped became successful and some remained in the same situation. Some she adored and became her favorite and some she hated because of one or two reasons, one of which is being a burden all throughout.

She did not tell me those because we were not close. We seldom met before but I could identify with the circumstances. She spoke her mind most of the time because she was frustrated and felt helpless. And maybe hopeless, too, for these people – who just wanted to be burdens, and to be dependent all their lives.

I revere her for being courageous living alone in an alien city, and for giving something of herself by helping. I am saddened of the fact that I was not there during the time she was ailing until her death. All because we did not become close. All because I was infused with ideas that obliterated her good side.

This is a tag I came across Slim Whale’s blog. Taking the challenge is more than a challenge. I have to hark back to the lonely death of my Aunt Estella.

Moments

Delightful

Yesterday, together with Kay and Daryl, we went to the grocery store to buy items they would bring to the field trip. Being busy the past few days, we don’t find much time to hang around each other. It is such a delight to notice how my kids have grown. Daryl is already taller than his Ate Kay who is a budding woman now. I cannot help be affected by the stares people give her. It was like just months ago when I would also bring them to the grocery store by myself via PUJ – they were so little, Kay with pinkish cheeks and Daryl with his chubbiness. They were a sight to behold even then. They were tots wild about knowledge, curious about every little thing, bubbling with fun and excitement all along our trips to the grocery store.
Ecstatic >
Last night, I turned off Papsie’s cel phone while charging. Kay must have left it on. They say to give long life to the battery, one should turn off the phone while charging and so I did. After minutes of organizing the clothes, washed and dried during the wee hours of the night last Saturday, I checked the phone and noticed that charging was complete so I turned it on to check the alarm if it was already set. The welcome note said “ikaw lamang ang iibigin Bing“. Kinda sixties, no? I smiled and looked at the familiar figure lying on the bed. The idea of growing old with him gave that cloud nine feeling.
Sad
I had an experience with an officemate who at one time (was a Saturday) approached me and borrowed money. I was not able to give her the money but gave a suggestion to go to one of our officemates who lets people lend with a 5% interest a month. She told me she could not do that because “that woman seemed unapproachable”. She also told me that she will return the money by Monday. Upon hearing the condition, I volunteered to borrow money for her – a chivalry that I never thought would make me sad later on. Monday, Tuesday, until Saturday, no money was returned. To top it all, my officemate never talked to me voluntarily to explain what happened. The first time I talked to her was Tuesday and the next was Thursday and alibis were made up to cover the inadequacy. So I talked to the person who had let me borrow the money and found out that this officemate of mine is notorious for that habit of borrowing and not paying or paying that will take later than the time that was promised. I also found out that she has outstanding balances for the two loans from the “unapproachable woman”.
Disheartened
During an audit, one of the internal auditors declared an OFI (opportunity for improvement) to utilize correspondingly the forms. She noticed that there is a portion with a heading Possible Source of Defect and was left void. One of the supervisors defensively remarked that they couldn’t write the sources of defect because that space is not enough. Sensing that they didnt get the point of the internal auditor who had explained also that they could utilize the data in their graphical presentations, I came to the rescue and told them that they need not worry because what would be stated will not be taken against them and will not be conclusive (which explains the word ‘possible’) and had to be investigated still to solve the problem on defects. Furthermore, I added that they could use short phrases, e.g. – chips – uneven wire length. Insisting, as always, the supervisor pointed out on some impossibilities that made the discussions longer. I was disheartened by the fact that even some of the employees are substandard.

Disappointed

I don’t get to talk that often anymore to someone who was a close friend once. I have this attitude that once I get disappointed with a person, I find it difficult to retain the flame of friendship which was very strong before. I find it hard to trust once again, to share my innermost feelings again and to be joyful with her presence. I loathe her for implicitly competing with me about insignificant matters when I don’t even think of competition because we are friends. I am annoyed with her stupid acts and opinions. I basically fell out of love with a friend who is inconsistent and unreliable.

Moments

Delightful

Yesterday, together with Kay and Daryl, we went to the grocery store to buy items they would bring to the field trip. Being busy the past few days, we don’t find much time to hang around each other. It is such a delight to notice how my kids have grown. Daryl is already taller than his Ate Kay who is a budding woman now. I cannot help be affected by the stares people give her. It was like just months ago when I would also bring them to the grocery store by myself via PUJ – they were so little, Kay with pinkish cheeks and Daryl with his chubbiness. They were a sight to behold even then. They were tots wild about knowledge, curious about every little thing, bubbling with fun and excitement all along our trips to the grocery store.
Ecstatic >
Last night, I turned off Papsie’s cel phone while charging. Kay must have left it on. They say to give long life to the battery, one should turn off the phone while charging and so I did. After minutes of organizing the clothes, washed and dried during the wee hours of the night last Saturday, I checked the phone and noticed that charging was complete so I turned it on to check the alarm if it was already set. The welcome note said “ikaw lamang ang iibigin Bing“. Kinda sixties, no? I smiled and looked at the familiar figure lying on the bed. The idea of growing old with him gave that cloud nine feeling.
Sad
I had an experience with an officemate who at one time (was a Saturday) approached me and borrowed money. I was not able to give her the money but gave a suggestion to go to one of our officemates who lets people lend with a 5% interest a month. She told me she could not do that because “that woman seemed unapproachable”. She also told me that she will return the money by Monday. Upon hearing the condition, I volunteered to borrow money for her – a chivalry that I never thought would make me sad later on. Monday, Tuesday, until Saturday, no money was returned. To top it all, my officemate never talked to me voluntarily to explain what happened. The first time I talked to her was Tuesday and the next was Thursday and alibis were made up to cover the inadequacy. So I talked to the person who had let me borrow the money and found out that this officemate of mine is notorious for that habit of borrowing and not paying or paying that will take later than the time that was promised. I also found out that she has outstanding balances for the two loans from the “unapproachable woman”.
Disheartened
During an audit, one of the internal auditors declared an OFI (opportunity for improvement) to utilize correspondingly the forms. She noticed that there is a portion with a heading Possible Source of Defect and was left void. One of the supervisors defensively remarked that they couldn’t write the sources of defect because that space is not enough. Sensing that they didnt get the point of the internal auditor who had explained also that they could utilize the data in their graphical presentations, I came to the rescue and told them that they need not worry because what would be stated will not be taken against them and will not be conclusive (which explains the word ‘possible’) and had to be investigated still to solve the problem on defects. Furthermore, I added that they could use short phrases, e.g. – chips – uneven wire length. Insisting, as always, the supervisor pointed out on some impossibilities that made the discussions longer. I was disheartened by the fact that even some of the employees are substandard.

Disappointed

I don’t get to talk that often anymore to someone who was a close friend once. I have this attitude that once I get disappointed with a person, I find it difficult to retain the flame of friendship which was very strong before. I find it hard to trust once again, to share my innermost feelings again and to be joyful with her presence. I loathe her for implicitly competing with me about insignificant matters when I don’t even think of competition because we are friends. I am annoyed with her stupid acts and opinions. I basically fell out of love with a friend who is inconsistent and unreliable.

Moments

Delightful

Yesterday, together with Kay and Daryl, we went to the grocery store to buy items they would bring to the field trip. Being busy the past few days, we don’t find much time to hang around each other. It is such a delight to notice how my kids have grown. Daryl is already taller than his Ate Kay who is a budding woman now. I cannot help be affected by the stares people give her. It was like just months ago when I would also bring them to the grocery store by myself via PUJ – they were so little, Kay with pinkish cheeks and Daryl with his chubbiness. They were a sight to behold even then. They were tots wild about knowledge, curious about every little thing, bubbling with fun and excitement all along our trips to the grocery store.
Ecstatic >
Last night, I turned off Papsie’s cel phone while charging. Kay must have left it on. They say to give long life to the battery, one should turn off the phone while charging and so I did. After minutes of organizing the clothes, washed and dried during the wee hours of the night last Saturday, I checked the phone and noticed that charging was complete so I turned it on to check the alarm if it was already set. The welcome note said “ikaw lamang ang iibigin Bing“. Kinda sixties, no? I smiled and looked at the familiar figure lying on the bed. The idea of growing old with him gave that cloud nine feeling.
Sad
I had an experience with an officemate who at one time (was a Saturday) approached me and borrowed money. I was not able to give her the money but gave a suggestion to go to one of our officemates who lets people lend with a 5% interest a month. She told me she could not do that because “that woman seemed unapproachable”. She also told me that she will return the money by Monday. Upon hearing the condition, I volunteered to borrow money for her – a chivalry that I never thought would make me sad later on. Monday, Tuesday, until Saturday, no money was returned. To top it all, my officemate never talked to me voluntarily to explain what happened. The first time I talked to her was Tuesday and the next was Thursday and alibis were made up to cover the inadequacy. So I talked to the person who had let me borrow the money and found out that this officemate of mine is notorious for that habit of borrowing and not paying or paying that will take later than the time that was promised. I also found out that she has outstanding balances for the two loans from the “unapproachable woman”.
Disheartened
During an audit, one of the internal auditors declared an OFI (opportunity for improvement) to utilize correspondingly the forms. She noticed that there is a portion with a heading Possible Source of Defect and was left void. One of the supervisors defensively remarked that they couldn’t write the sources of defect because that space is not enough. Sensing that they didnt get the point of the internal auditor who had explained also that they could utilize the data in their graphical presentations, I came to the rescue and told them that they need not worry because what would be stated will not be taken against them and will not be conclusive (which explains the word ‘possible’) and had to be investigated still to solve the problem on defects. Furthermore, I added that they could use short phrases, e.g. – chips – uneven wire length. Insisting, as always, the supervisor pointed out on some impossibilities that made the discussions longer. I was disheartened by the fact that even some of the employees are substandard.

Disappointed

I don’t get to talk that often anymore to someone who was a close friend once. I have this attitude that once I get disappointed with a person, I find it difficult to retain the flame of friendship which was very strong before. I find it hard to trust once again, to share my innermost feelings again and to be joyful with her presence. I loathe her for implicitly competing with me about insignificant matters when I don’t even think of competition because we are friends. I am annoyed with her stupid acts and opinions. I basically fell out of love with a friend who is inconsistent and unreliable.

In Her Own Little Ways

Grace is Papsie’s niece, daughter of her elder sister. Just recently, her father was brought to the hospital because of a difficulty in breathing. He was diagnosed having a heart ailment.

Papsie, being ever present during situations like these, was the one who had offered generously his time and service to bring them to the hospital when they took turns tending their father who was later confined. We did not hear him complain though it required him to go back and forth. This was an effort for him because with his condition, he gets tired easily.

Such attribute really made me adore my husband. With the much indifference he experienced with his kith and kin, he would not take those against them. He would be ever ready to help at all times, to do his small part as brother, or friend, or son, or wife, or father.

Perhaps Grace saw it – the thoughtfulness and the graciousness of his mother’s brother. It did not end by her saying ‘thank you’ and bringing three Jollibee pies. She gave Papsie a short letter last October 14, 2005.

Dearest Tito Dan,

I just want you to know that I truly appreciate your help during those times na nasa hospital si Papa and this is my little way of saying thank you, sana di ka magsawa ^__^ Thank you very much!!!

Grace

Coming home from work that day, he showed me right away the letter. I was also touched by the letter then cooed, “Naks, touched ka, ‘no?” approaching him by the sink. He cannot look at me because he was teary-eyed already. No other words but with a broken voice, he uttered, “Oo…“

Pondering, I now realized why Grace is special to my mother-in-law. She is a person who readily reciprocates love and care. In her own little ways, she takes time to say a heartfelt thank you. Maybe for others it would be hypocrisy or pretense, but for us, especially for me, the joy that letter gave Papsie is more than a way of showing gratitude.

Keep it up, Mary Grace! You made a difference.

In Her Own Little Ways

Grace is Papsie’s niece, daughter of her elder sister. Just recently, her father was brought to the hospital because of a difficulty in breathing. He was diagnosed having a heart ailment.

Papsie, being ever present during situations like these, was the one who had offered generously his time and service to bring them to the hospital when they took turns tending their father who was later confined. We did not hear him complain though it required him to go back and forth. This was an effort for him because with his condition, he gets tired easily.

Such attribute really made me adore my husband. With the much indifference he experienced with his kith and kin, he would not take those against them. He would be ever ready to help at all times, to do his small part as brother, or friend, or son, or wife, or father.

Perhaps Grace saw it – the thoughtfulness and the graciousness of his mother’s brother. It did not end by her saying ‘thank you’ and bringing three Jollibee pies. She gave Papsie a short letter last October 14, 2005.

Dearest Tito Dan,

I just want you to know that I truly appreciate your help during those times na nasa hospital si Papa and this is my little way of saying thank you, sana di ka magsawa ^__^ Thank you very much!!!

Grace

Coming home from work that day, he showed me right away the letter. I was also touched by the letter then cooed, “Naks, touched ka, ‘no?” approaching him by the sink. He cannot look at me because he was teary-eyed already. No other words but with a broken voice, he uttered, “Oo…“

Pondering, I now realized why Grace is special to my mother-in-law. She is a person who readily reciprocates love and care. In her own little ways, she takes time to say a heartfelt thank you. Maybe for others it would be hypocrisy or pretense, but for us, especially for me, the joy that letter gave Papsie is more than a way of showing gratitude.

Keep it up, Mary Grace! You made a difference.

In Her Own Little Ways

Grace is Papsie’s niece, daughter of her elder sister. Just recently, her father was brought to the hospital because of a difficulty in breathing. He was diagnosed having a heart ailment.

Papsie, being ever present during situations like these, was the one who had offered generously his time and service to bring them to the hospital when they took turns tending their father who was later confined. We did not hear him complain though it required him to go back and forth. This was an effort for him because with his condition, he gets tired easily.

Such attribute really made me adore my husband. With the much indifference he experienced with his kith and kin, he would not take those against them. He would be ever ready to help at all times, to do his small part as brother, or friend, or son, or wife, or father.

Perhaps Grace saw it – the thoughtfulness and the graciousness of his mother’s brother. It did not end by her saying ‘thank you’ and bringing three Jollibee pies. She gave Papsie a short letter last October 14, 2005.

Dearest Tito Dan,

I just want you to know that I truly appreciate your help during those times na nasa hospital si Papa and this is my little way of saying thank you, sana di ka magsawa ^__^ Thank you very much!!!

Grace

Coming home from work that day, he showed me right away the letter. I was also touched by the letter then cooed, “Naks, touched ka, ‘no?” approaching him by the sink. He cannot look at me because he was teary-eyed already. No other words but with a broken voice, he uttered, “Oo…“

Pondering, I now realized why Grace is special to my mother-in-law. She is a person who readily reciprocates love and care. In her own little ways, she takes time to say a heartfelt thank you. Maybe for others it would be hypocrisy or pretense, but for us, especially for me, the joy that letter gave Papsie is more than a way of showing gratitude.

Keep it up, Mary Grace! You made a difference.

Ang Isang Katulad Mo, Ang Isang Katulad Ko

Heto na naman, mukhang papalaot na naman sa mundo ng drama.Pwera biro, kapag ikaw ang nasa isip, hindi ko magawang hindi magseryoso. Pareho naman tayong may pagka AB normal. Pareho tayong masayahing tao. Pareho nating dinadala ang buhay nang magaan kahit na ba ito ay napakabigat.

Paano kasi ang laki ng respeto ko sa iyo. Habang papalapit na tayo sa dapit hapon ng ating mga buhay, lalo ko lang nararamdaman ang halaga ng isang tulad mo sa buhay ko. Kung tutuusin, malayo ka sa mga tinitingalang kalalakihan – Presidente, Bise-Presidente (ng bansa at mga pagawaan), Tagapangasiwa, Doktor, Inhenyero, Siyentipiko, atbpa. Pero positibo ako, isa ka sa mga tagumpay na tao kung hindi ka nagkaroon ng karamdamang dulot ng hypertension.

Pero nangyari na ang mga itinakdang mangyari. Hindi na siguro dapat pang manatili sa panghihinayang at pagkalungkot hindi man ito maiwasan. Dapat siguro ay tingnan na lamang kung ano ang mga tagumpay na ating nakamit nang tayo ay magdesisyong sumulong sa buhay mag-asawa kahit na kakaiba ang sitwasyon.

Pero nangyari na ang mga itinakdang mangyari. Hindi na siguro dapat pang manatili sa panghihinayang at pagkalungkot hindi man ito maiwasan. Dapat siguro ay tingnan na lamang kung ano ang mga tagumpay na ating nakamit nang tayo ay magdesisyong sumulong sa buhay mag-asawa kahit na kakaiba ang sitwasyon.

Natatandaan mo pa ba kung ilang beses mo akong ipinagtulakan para lamang maghanap ng iba? Kapag nagbibida ka nga sa mga kabarkada mo at mga bagong kakilala, ikinukwento mo ito sabay dagdag, “Paano kasi, wala na siyang makitang kasing gandang lalaki ko na na-i-stroke.” Palaging hit ang birong iyon.

Natatandaan mo pa ba ang ginagawa mo bago tayo matulog noong ipinagbubuntis ko si Kay? Kakanta ka ng “Bahay Kubo” sa tapat ng tiyan ko at kakausapin mo siya. Tuloy, isang taon at kalahati pa lang si Kay, kabisado na ang “Bahay Kubo”. At bago pa iyon, noong ako ay naglilihi, nagpahanap ako ng atis e hindi naman panahon ng atis. Nagkulong ako sa kwarto dahil sa pagkabigo, umuwi ka kasing walang dalang atis. Buti na lang tila isang anghel pa rin ang lumabas, nakuha nga lamang ang ugaling madaling mabugnot.

Natatandaan mo pa ba ang pagbubuntis ko kay Daryl? Ilang ga-unang dugo ang nawala sa akin, Sobrang takot ang nararamdaman ko tuwing bubuhos ang maraming dugo sa kapirasong pagkilos. Paano nga’y di ako mapakali at nabubugnot sa kakahiga sa sofa. Yun naman pala bawal talaga sa isang kaso ng placenta previa ang kumilos dahil inunan ay nakabara sa pwerta. Hindi ko maramdamang natatakot ka noon. Pero marahil ayaw mo lang ipakita sa akin. Nang matagumpay siyang nailabas sa pamamagitan ng CS operation, natatandaan mo ba na humagulgol ako nang sabihin sa akin na maiiwan si Daryl ng isang linggo pa at ipagdasal dahil may respiratory distress siya? Hindi ka umiiyak noon. Nang okey na si Daryl, ikinuwento ni Nanay na nang umuwi ka pala noon galing sa ospital, humagulgol ka sa kanya. Ang daya mo, ayaw mong umiyak kasabay ko.

Natatandaan mo ba noong minsang dinala natin si Kay sa Pedia niya sa Chinese General Hospital para sa kanyang buwanang check-up? May lagnat siya noon at nahuli sa pagdating ang doktor. Ang hinhin kasi kumilos. Pilit mong kinulit ang sekretarya na tawagan na ang doktor at mahaba na ang pila. Sabi mo pa, mahuhuli ka sa appointment mo. Kaya nang dumating ang doktor, iyon ang sinabi ng sekretarya sa kanya at tayo ay inuna. Natatandaan mo ba na tinanong ka niya kung ano ba ang negosyo mo at mahuhuli ka sa appointment mo? Walang patumpik tumpik na sinabi mong kailangan mo nang pakainin ang mga alaga mong baboy. Ngingisi ngisi ang doktor at nang mapansin na ikaw pala ay pipilay pilay sa paglakad, hindi natiis magtanong kung ano ang nangyari sa iyo. Natigil ka sa pag-aalaga ng baboy dahil strenuous daw iyon para sa iyo. Dapat din lang naman kasi naka-apat na stroke ka na.

Marami pa ang mga napagtagumpayan natin. Iyon ay posible sa isang katulad mo at sa isang katulad mo. Tayo talaga ay para sa isa’t isa. Sa susunod, isusulat ko ang mga iba pa. Hindi naman palagi tayong nakangisi pero ang mahalaga at kung titimbangin, lamang pa rin ang saya, di ba?

Unguarded Moments

It pays to stop-and-listen for a while. You’ll accidentally learn something.

Some officemates were talking about a reality show and its challengers. One of them observed how one revealed her self through unguarded moments. “I once pitied her, but seeing her in that reality show showed why her husband left her,” went one remark.

True to form, the starlet bellowed in her full cry that she damn needed the money. That was during the challenge. She and her partner didn’t win. You can see the disappointed look in her face when the big sum of money was given to the winners. She needed to clap her hands unwillingly because she was in front of the camera.

Our unguarded moments reveal the ‘true us’. It tells us how we would respond emotionally and physically to those trying moments. It tells us of our limitations and weaknesses. It defines our character. It details the ‘who-are-you’. We may not know but we give something to the audience when we uncaringly give in to pressure, angst, or anger. We say it is natural but it says more than what must be normal.

It is during my unguarded moments that I hate myself at times. I fear no one and would not care if my words sting. Too late to be remorseful but I would still be apologetic. I speak non-stop and my words are hateful. That is I when provoked, when angered, when stirred. This is the reason that in my supplication I would still ask that God would take control of my emotions. Little success in this aspect, I must admit, and still praying.

Post Script

Three Things You Still Don’t Know About Me

1. I am the eldest of four kids.
2. I have a mole in the inside of my right thigh that is parallel to a mole on my right leg. They look like sweethearts when I do a squat sit.
3. I am a maniac. Is that the right word for a blog enthusiast? Can someone please tell me?

I wish KU, MrPogi, and Knoizki will tell me 3 things I still dont know about them (maybe thru their blogs).

Salamat nang marami, Malaya, for the tag! Mabuhay ang isang dalagang tulad mo!

Ang Isang Katulad Mo, Ang Isang Katulad Ko

Heto na naman, mukhang papalaot na naman sa mundo ng drama.Pwera biro, kapag ikaw ang nasa isip, hindi ko magawang hindi magseryoso. Pareho naman tayong may pagka AB normal. Pareho tayong masayahing tao. Pareho nating dinadala ang buhay nang magaan kahit na ba ito ay napakabigat.

Paano kasi ang laki ng respeto ko sa iyo. Habang papalapit na tayo sa dapit hapon ng ating mga buhay, lalo ko lang nararamdaman ang halaga ng isang tulad mo sa buhay ko. Kung tutuusin, malayo ka sa mga tinitingalang kalalakihan – Presidente, Bise-Presidente (ng bansa at mga pagawaan), Tagapangasiwa, Doktor, Inhenyero, Siyentipiko, atbpa. Pero positibo ako, isa ka sa mga tagumpay na tao kung hindi ka nagkaroon ng karamdamang dulot ng hypertension.

Pero nangyari na ang mga itinakdang mangyari. Hindi na siguro dapat pang manatili sa panghihinayang at pagkalungkot hindi man ito maiwasan. Dapat siguro ay tingnan na lamang kung ano ang mga tagumpay na ating nakamit nang tayo ay magdesisyong sumulong sa buhay mag-asawa kahit na kakaiba ang sitwasyon.

Pero nangyari na ang mga itinakdang mangyari. Hindi na siguro dapat pang manatili sa panghihinayang at pagkalungkot hindi man ito maiwasan. Dapat siguro ay tingnan na lamang kung ano ang mga tagumpay na ating nakamit nang tayo ay magdesisyong sumulong sa buhay mag-asawa kahit na kakaiba ang sitwasyon.

Natatandaan mo pa ba kung ilang beses mo akong ipinagtulakan para lamang maghanap ng iba? Kapag nagbibida ka nga sa mga kabarkada mo at mga bagong kakilala, ikinukwento mo ito sabay dagdag, “Paano kasi, wala na siyang makitang kasing gandang lalaki ko na na-i-stroke.” Palaging hit ang birong iyon.

Natatandaan mo pa ba ang ginagawa mo bago tayo matulog noong ipinagbubuntis ko si Kay? Kakanta ka ng “Bahay Kubo” sa tapat ng tiyan ko at kakausapin mo siya. Tuloy, isang taon at kalahati pa lang si Kay, kabisado na ang “Bahay Kubo”. At bago pa iyon, noong ako ay naglilihi, nagpahanap ako ng atis e hindi naman panahon ng atis. Nagkulong ako sa kwarto dahil sa pagkabigo, umuwi ka kasing walang dalang atis. Buti na lang tila isang anghel pa rin ang lumabas, nakuha nga lamang ang ugaling madaling mabugnot.

Natatandaan mo pa ba ang pagbubuntis ko kay Daryl? Ilang ga-unang dugo ang nawala sa akin, Sobrang takot ang nararamdaman ko tuwing bubuhos ang maraming dugo sa kapirasong pagkilos. Paano nga’y di ako mapakali at nabubugnot sa kakahiga sa sofa. Yun naman pala bawal talaga sa isang kaso ng placenta previa ang kumilos dahil inunan ay nakabara sa pwerta. Hindi ko maramdamang natatakot ka noon. Pero marahil ayaw mo lang ipakita sa akin. Nang matagumpay siyang nailabas sa pamamagitan ng CS operation, natatandaan mo ba na humagulgol ako nang sabihin sa akin na maiiwan si Daryl ng isang linggo pa at ipagdasal dahil may respiratory distress siya? Hindi ka umiiyak noon. Nang okey na si Daryl, ikinuwento ni Nanay na nang umuwi ka pala noon galing sa ospital, humagulgol ka sa kanya. Ang daya mo, ayaw mong umiyak kasabay ko.

Natatandaan mo ba noong minsang dinala natin si Kay sa Pedia niya sa Chinese General Hospital para sa kanyang buwanang check-up? May lagnat siya noon at nahuli sa pagdating ang doktor. Ang hinhin kasi kumilos. Pilit mong kinulit ang sekretarya na tawagan na ang doktor at mahaba na ang pila. Sabi mo pa, mahuhuli ka sa appointment mo. Kaya nang dumating ang doktor, iyon ang sinabi ng sekretarya sa kanya at tayo ay inuna. Natatandaan mo ba na tinanong ka niya kung ano ba ang negosyo mo at mahuhuli ka sa appointment mo? Walang patumpik tumpik na sinabi mong kailangan mo nang pakainin ang mga alaga mong baboy. Ngingisi ngisi ang doktor at nang mapansin na ikaw pala ay pipilay pilay sa paglakad, hindi natiis magtanong kung ano ang nangyari sa iyo. Natigil ka sa pag-aalaga ng baboy dahil strenuous daw iyon para sa iyo. Dapat din lang naman kasi naka-apat na stroke ka na.

Marami pa ang mga napagtagumpayan natin. Iyon ay posible sa isang katulad mo at sa isang katulad mo. Tayo talaga ay para sa isa’t isa. Sa susunod, isusulat ko ang mga iba pa. Hindi naman palagi tayong nakangisi pero ang mahalaga at kung titimbangin, lamang pa rin ang saya, di ba?

Unguarded Moments

It pays to stop-and-listen for a while. You’ll accidentally learn something.

Some officemates were talking about a reality show and its challengers. One of them observed how one revealed her self through unguarded moments. “I once pitied her, but seeing her in that reality show showed why her husband left her,” went one remark.

True to form, the starlet bellowed in her full cry that she damn needed the money. That was during the challenge. She and her partner didn’t win. You can see the disappointed look in her face when the big sum of money was given to the winners. She needed to clap her hands unwillingly because she was in front of the camera.

Our unguarded moments reveal the ‘true us’. It tells us how we would respond emotionally and physically to those trying moments. It tells us of our limitations and weaknesses. It defines our character. It details the ‘who-are-you’. We may not know but we give something to the audience when we uncaringly give in to pressure, angst, or anger. We say it is natural but it says more than what must be normal.

It is during my unguarded moments that I hate myself at times. I fear no one and would not care if my words sting. Too late to be remorseful but I would still be apologetic. I speak non-stop and my words are hateful. That is I when provoked, when angered, when stirred. This is the reason that in my supplication I would still ask that God would take control of my emotions. Little success in this aspect, I must admit, and still praying.

Post Script

Three Things You Still Don’t Know About Me

1. I am the eldest of four kids.
2. I have a mole in the inside of my right thigh that is parallel to a mole on my right leg. They look like sweethearts when I do a squat sit.
3. I am a maniac. Is that the right word for a blog enthusiast? Can someone please tell me?

I wish KU, MrPogi, and Knoizki will tell me 3 things I still dont know about them (maybe thru their blogs).

Salamat nang marami, Malaya, for the tag! Mabuhay ang isang dalagang tulad mo!

Unguarded Moments

It pays to stop-and-listen for a while. You’ll accidentally learn something.

Some officemates were talking about a reality show and its challengers. One of them observed how one revealed her self through unguarded moments. “I once pitied her, but seeing her in that reality show showed why her husband left her,” went one remark.

True to form, the starlet bellowed in her full cry that she damn needed the money. That was during the challenge. She and her partner didn’t win. You can see the disappointed look in her face when the big sum of money was given to the winners. She needed to clap her hands unwillingly because she was in front of the camera.

Our unguarded moments reveal the ‘true us’. It tells us how we would respond emotionally and physically to those trying moments. It tells us of our limitations and weaknesses. It defines our character. It details the ‘who-are-you’. We may not know but we give something to the audience when we uncaringly give in to pressure, angst, or anger. We say it is natural but it says more than what must be normal.

It is during my unguarded moments that I hate myself at times. I fear no one and would not care if my words sting. Too late to be remorseful but I would still be apologetic. I speak non-stop and my words are hateful. That is I when provoked, when angered, when stirred. This is the reason that in my supplication I would still ask that God would take control of my emotions. Little success in this aspect, I must admit, and still praying.

Post Script

Three Things You Still Don’t Know About Me

1. I am the eldest of four kids.
2. I have a mole in the inside of my right thigh that is parallel to a mole on my right leg. They look like sweethearts when I do a squat sit.
3. I am a maniac. Is that the right word for a blog enthusiast? Can someone please tell me?

I wish KU, MrPogi, and Knoizki will tell me 3 things I still dont know about them (maybe thru their blogs).

Salamat nang marami, Malaya, for the tag! Mabuhay ang isang dalagang tulad mo!

Life is Complaints Galore

One Sunday morning, a wife woke up late and was not able to prepare food for breakfast. The reason: she slept very late thinking how she would find money for her children’s tuition fees. Resources are scant and she couldn’t afford begging from relatives. Her husband is in poor health to be able to assist her in her financial woes. And besides, she does not bother about the food; it is his concern – from the house rentals.

To make the story short, the husband grumbled about being tired and was so upset that after preparing for breakfast he would again prepare for lunch after an errand (from his mother). He spoke to his unknowing son angrily which annoyed the wife and caused her to exclaim telling him to tell her directly and she would do the cooking.

Upon returning home, the remorseful husband tried to talk to his irate wife and received a foul answer. The angry wife did not eat breakfast and went to their bedroom (again) crying and fuming mad.

Life is a fatal complaint, and an eminently contagious one. – Oliver Wendell Holmes

It is so easy to complain. We complain about so many things, and even about trivialities. And that makes it worse. Sometimes, people complain without cause. People even complain about the not-so-important things in this world, and loose that ability to focus on the more important things in life.