I am inclined to believe that adults somehow cause the jealousy that children feel. After all, children learn from adults and they’re like sponges, taking in the good and bad, acting like their attention is on something but actually listening, observing, and drawing in everything that catches their attention.
I bought a gift for a little child that my husband is so fond of for one of those holiday gatherings. I had difficulty choosing a toy because my children, as I have mentioned in a previous post, do not want to give toy guns as gifts. The little child loves cars, but he also has many toy cars already.
A big red car caught my attention, not knowing at first that it was a remote-controlled car. The sales lady explained everything to me in detail including how one button will automatically open the doors. I got so fascinated with the idea that the little child will be amazed of the gift that after her powerful sales talk, I was persuaded to buy. I did not doubt that my husband will be disappointed.
True enough, hubby was so happy although penny-wise as he is, he, in some way, disagreed about the cost of the toy. As soon as he learned about how it was more of a bargain (it has a free charger, and the batteries were given free, too) than an expensive toy, he got so excited he can’t wait for the party to begin.
To cut the story short, the time came for the party and during the gift-giving, hubby called the little child and showed him his gift. The child seemed to have gotten overwhelmed that he didn’t want to approach hubby. In the end, a couple of minutes after he was called forth, the child approached and received the gift shyly. I think he was hesitant because of so many things but that’s another story to tell.
You may be wondering where the adult learning will happen in this story. Here it is.
After a few more days, a kinsperson by affinity told me that one of the little boys got jealous. It was his observation. I agreed that it was possible but I ended explaining that that boy already has a lot of toys, and I mean ‘a lot’, and he already has a remote-controlled car. He argued that he saw how the boy was so jealous. I couldn’t agree more because the siblings also looked like they were, but who knows what was going inside their heads?
The litany was repeated twice, and I told him it was not our intention to make the other little boys get jealous. He insisted that the child was, being a kid. I insisted that the boy already has that remote-controlled car because I saw it.
I will not lecture anymore about how to deal with jealousy because I do not want to pretend that I am an expert. As far as I remember, I taught my children to be their own unique person. They cannot grow as imitating other people because they are unique, or begrudge others of what they have but instead have to work for it.
Nonetheless, I think adults should visit these links to learn more.