Developing a Core Value Called Integrity

If you will be asked if you possess integrity, will you be confident to say YES?

It will surely make you think not only twice.  After I read some articles the other night about this value, I was not as confident anymore.  I realized that we are all guilty at some points in our lives not having integrity.  I, for one, had lied (white and black lies) many times and in defense, it’s always because what the situations warranted.  It’s always about justifying that what I did was just right because it was what I thought was best and easy way out of a circumstance.

photo from soulseeds

According to Amy Rees, an author and a weekly contributor to Forbes and The Huffington Post, “Integrity is doing the right thing at all times and in all circumstances whether or not anyone is watching.”

That line alone surely will make most of us feel uncomfortable.   Why would we not if some of us renders overtime work without an output defending the deed as right because the pay is low?  Why would we not if the janitor, for example, wanders about or do other things not related to his work, because ‘everybody is doing it’?  Why would we not if the leadman spends much time on his cellular phone because he believes his efforts are not recognized?  Why would we not if a manager thinks he is the most intelligent species in the organization that is why the high pay but is not effective?  Why would we not if an officer gets a kickback from purchases because he thinks he deserves it for the long tenure he has in the company?  I am sure there are lots of situations we can talk about that that line from Ms. Rees will grate on our person.

Being able to realize that we have not practiced integrity at some points in our lives and desire to develop ourselves is a different thing though.  It is an act of integrity, too, to admit that we failed before to develop this core value as an individual, as an employee, as a friend, as a boss, etc., and to desire to change especially if it’s not late to do it.

We cannot just say that we are a people of integrity or moral uprightness without others be the ones telling us that we are such people.  It is like faith without actions.  Faith is dead without walking the talk, or professing it but not doing the truthful and honest things we must do in any situation.

Quoting more from Amy Rees, “If we surround ourselves with people who are dishonest and willing to cut courses to get ahead, then we’ll surely find ourselves following a pattern of first enduring this behavior, then accepting their behavior, and finally adopting their behavior.”

Some Surprising Facts in Philippine History

The UB suggestion is about cool facts in history. I am a Filipino and I wanted to share this post about six (6) surprising Filipino historical facts.

American Mark-43 nuclear bomb from Filipiknow.net

The fact that affected me most among the six is the nuclear bomb that fell into the Philippine Sea and it’s still missing. It was only in the 1980s when it was revealed that the Mk. 43 free-fall bomb was lost.

It makes me feel scared, even now, that the weapon which is at least a megaton’s worth of nuclear explosive was never found.  Questions popped into my mind like – How come it is missing?  What if it’s there submerged in the Philippine seabed waiting to explode? What is the chance that it will be triggered to explode? To what extent will the damage caused by explosion spread?

Life quotes, anyone?

It’s nice to learn about other quote web sites aside from Brainyquotes which I frequent.  I love quotes.  They have inspired me in many ways.  One of my favorites are life quotes.  Here are samples from Quotelicious.com:

photo from timemanagementninja.com

A great attitude becomes a great day which becomes a great month which becomes a great year which becomes a great life.

— Mandy Hale

MY TAKE: I realized that a great life does not equate to a life with lots of money only.  A lot of rich people are not happy.  It is how a life is well-lived by having that attitude of positivity and hope.

photo from china.homestaynow.org

Everyone should smile. Life really isn’t that serious. We make it hard. The sun rises. The sun sets. We just tend to complicate the process.

– Unknown

MY TAKE: I really cannot understand why people choose to be indifferent which is mostly a result of jealousy or insecurity.   Instead of finding a good reason to smile by doing something productive for their lives, they focus on others who have nicer clothes, or shoes, better paying jobs, or big houses, and fault-find to find satisfaction for themselves.  Utterly ridiculous and pitiful.

photo from quora.com

Your life is your message to the world. Make sure it is inspiring.             – Unknown

MY TAKE : One commenter thought that inspiration we get from disability is a kind of objectification.  I disagree.  It is rather a strong motivational thing to show the world that despite the disability, life goes on.  My husband is a physically challenged man.  After the stroke, the situation changed.  He had to stay at home with the kids (with my MIL, too) and I had to go to work.  He raised pigs to augment the family expenses.  This he did while taking care of the children.  I took part of the ‘taking care’ after an 8-hour office work.  There were a lot of stories to tell.  To wrap it up, he was such an inspiration that was also an example not to give up despite the trials.

Looks aren’t everything.

This TED talk by model Cameron Russell is fearless indeed.

“I won a genetic lottery and I’m the recipient of a legacy.”  This bold statement defines how the advertising  business and most of the world see beauty.

“The thing… that I have never said on camera is that I am insecure.  And I am insecure because I have to think about what I look like everyday.”  Who would have thought that such a young and beautiful lady would be insecure? But she is.

Here is the video you all will admire.  It is not easy to admit the superficiality of it all.  While most young girls are embarrassed about their bodies and how they look, here is a model saying she is insecure and unhappy and I think it is because she is not that person we see in Vogue, or any other magazine, but someone who is like most of us, afraid, and unsure.

 

52Photos Project – Landscape

This is the LANDSCAPE that I would want to see – full of more greens. It soothes the eyes and gives that feeling of peace. This may not be that extensive but I believe that the nearer the greens, the more you gain from the experience.

 

"I don’t know what a Teddy Bear is."

photo from Amazon.com

I was born in a family where teddy bears or other stuffed toys weren’t common or weren’t even bought as gifts to the children.  I don’t recall receiving a teddy bear or a stuffed toy.  I recall having a little plastic doll as one of my toys. There were clay pots, too, and sardine cans converted into carts with wheels made of soft drink bottle caps or what they call tansan.  There were many toys from native materials that everybody enjoyed playing with.  Nobody among the kids brought a teddy bear as far as I can recall.  We were a happy lot, though, so to speak, baked by the sun most of the time, bathed in our sweat and smell, and clad in assorted threadbare shirts and shorts.

I and my siblings and all the kids in our neighborhood grew to play the traditional games of piko, patintero, luksong baka, luksong tinik, agawan base, patay-patayan, hand clapping games, calahoyo, holen, chinese garter, jack en poy, to name a few.  One can learn about these games at Wikipedia. Just search for ‘traditional games in the Philippines‘.

My father is a private contractor of painting and carpentry jobs. One day, he brought me along with him to the house of one of his clients.   The house was big and I was introduced to the daughter who was my age.  I maybe eight or nine years old that time.  The daughter was kind, as I remember (otherwise, I will remember if she’s not nice  :D), and she invited me to play with her.  She said “Laro tayo ng teddy bear ko! (Let’s play with my teddy bear!)”  Recollecting, I was not able to say anything but my uninformed inner-self was screaming, “Hindi ko alam kung ano ang teddy bear. (I do not know what a teddy bear is.)”  She made me follow and finally we were in a playing space just beside the house with a few of her toys which are all novelty items to me.  They looked so pretty and shiny and colorful except for one that looks like a furry animal.

The girl, unaware of my ignorance, took the furry animal toy and said to me, “‘Eto si Teddy. (Here is Teddy.)”  It was like she was introducing Teddy, the furry animal, the teddy bear (must be, I thought), to me.  I was so speechless at that time and it felt like an overwhelming feeling of joy and sadness took over me.  I played anyway.

I must have pushed away those feelings I didn’t want that I had when we got home.  Days past and life went on.  There were many teddy bears I met along the way.  I haven’t had one up to the time I was an adult.  It seemed that I deliberately did not allow to be fond of that toy.  It was a painful reminder and the defense mechanism was to ignore.

Things changed when I had my first baby.  The beautiful tiny baby girl had no idea that she will be meeting Teddy early on.

Photohunt: Entwine

(Please click to enlarge the thumbnails.)

What crossed my mind when I landed on The Saturday PhotoHunt page seeing the theme was pastas and noodles.  We are a family that love these entwined and entangled food. I mean, who would not?

The first two (2) photos are from restaurants/food chains while the next two (2) are my own creation – an éclat of my cooking skills.

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Do You Evaluate Yourself as a Parent?

In a blog post I wrote, Most of Us Parents are Afraid, I admitted that there are points in my life as a parent that I had to assess myself. Am I doing it right or wrong? That was the question.

There were stages that I really got anxious if I was doing it right. I had come to a point of assessing my style, and what I have done right or wrong. I believe most, if not all, parents come to this point of having to gauge their ‘performance’ as parents. I once wrote Being a Good Parent is Not Guarantee. I believe it is so. The influences our children acquire outside the house are varied, and sometimes they can be unreliable. As parents, we do not have control over them. We are left with pleading and imploring the Absolute Being above to take care of them and keep watch over them when we’re not around.

Do you think, as a parent, you are doing it right or wrong?  What makes you say so?

————–

This is from a discussion board I joined before where I am not active anymore.  The comments below were also from those people in that discussion board.

sasalove

I believe that nothing is absolutely right or wrong, particularly as a parent. It really quite depends on your attitude. Sometimes you may think that you are right on this issue, but others judges that you are too much over that. Every parent wants to be the best guardian but the reality is against our doing. I know that I need to be patience towards my eight months old kid as he is too young to know what I say. When he is crying loudly without comprehending my comforting, I will be yelling back and putting him badly onto the bed. Later I will blame myself for such impatience. I know that I am not right for such behavior, but sometimes I could not control myself.

neildc

definitely bing, this i have in mind now. something like, were did we go wrong thing. and so i asked my wife, what is happening to our kids now? are we really doing the right to in raising them? i still don’t have the right clue and still doubting about me being a parent.

hardworkinggurl

Yes I evaluated early on, during and still doing so. I was not raised by my own parents and under several guardians in my life. Therefore, I have entered Motherhood completely on trial and error. I can honestly say that I have/am doing a very good job at Motherhood. Though not perfect as I don’t feel anyone is, but having raised two wonderful kids who think and behave exactly as I expected says to me I have/am doing a good job with them. I have a great deal of communication with both of my kids and am not afraid to tell them that I was wrong and or made a mistake. I have always been very consistent when it comes to certain rules and or aspects during the raising of my children. I was never afraid to research and or ask other experienced parents as well. Simply for comparison as to what I have done/do, ultimately I usually arrive back to how I personally feel life in raising them should be. The researching and or asking questions simply allows me to reevaluate if what I have done/do is right for me.

miadsoriano

As parents, we only want what is best for our children. And as far as we are concerned, we always do the right thing by our children. Personally, and this may come as a cliche, I am a “work-in-progress”. I do not claim (and I know this is true for you and for other parents…well most of them at least) to be the perfect mom. But I sure do TRY my very best to be. I personally apply “The Golden Rule” when it comes to parenting and disciplining my kid…”Do unto others what you want done unto you”. Respect is another one. I respect my child and I would treat her the way I would want to be treated.

sheetal2900

It is very good point that you have raised in my lot because as a parent we have to understand the mentality of the child because he is not able to understand what we have to say to him and our point we have to explain him polity what is our issue by shout at child and make him doing as we say it wont work because tamperer he will do it but afterward again he will do as he want so we have to understand child’s point of view!!!

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• • Being a Mother & a Work in Progress. ~ Sheetal Daswani

• The M in Motherhood {celebrating the hard parts}

• Q&A: How to Be Patient with Your Children

52 Photos Project – Star

These two little girls (and daughters of my office mates) are going to be stars in their own unique ways someday.

There are other stars here.