Do You Evaluate Yourself as a Parent?

In a blog post I wrote, Most of Us Parents are Afraid, I admitted that there are points in my life as a parent that I had to assess myself. Am I doing it right or wrong? That was the question.

There were stages that I really got anxious if I was doing it right. I had come to a point of assessing my style, and what I have done right or wrong. I believe most, if not all, parents come to this point of having to gauge their ‘performance’ as parents. I once wrote Being a Good Parent is Not Guarantee. I believe it is so. The influences our children acquire outside the house are varied, and sometimes they can be unreliable. As parents, we do not have control over them. We are left with pleading and imploring the Absolute Being above to take care of them and keep watch over them when we’re not around.

Do you think, as a parent, you are doing it right or wrong?  What makes you say so?

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This is from a discussion board I joined before where I am not active anymore.  The comments below were also from those people in that discussion board.

sasalove

I believe that nothing is absolutely right or wrong, particularly as a parent. It really quite depends on your attitude. Sometimes you may think that you are right on this issue, but others judges that you are too much over that. Every parent wants to be the best guardian but the reality is against our doing. I know that I need to be patience towards my eight months old kid as he is too young to know what I say. When he is crying loudly without comprehending my comforting, I will be yelling back and putting him badly onto the bed. Later I will blame myself for such impatience. I know that I am not right for such behavior, but sometimes I could not control myself.

neildc

definitely bing, this i have in mind now. something like, were did we go wrong thing. and so i asked my wife, what is happening to our kids now? are we really doing the right to in raising them? i still don’t have the right clue and still doubting about me being a parent.

hardworkinggurl

Yes I evaluated early on, during and still doing so. I was not raised by my own parents and under several guardians in my life. Therefore, I have entered Motherhood completely on trial and error. I can honestly say that I have/am doing a very good job at Motherhood. Though not perfect as I don’t feel anyone is, but having raised two wonderful kids who think and behave exactly as I expected says to me I have/am doing a good job with them. I have a great deal of communication with both of my kids and am not afraid to tell them that I was wrong and or made a mistake. I have always been very consistent when it comes to certain rules and or aspects during the raising of my children. I was never afraid to research and or ask other experienced parents as well. Simply for comparison as to what I have done/do, ultimately I usually arrive back to how I personally feel life in raising them should be. The researching and or asking questions simply allows me to reevaluate if what I have done/do is right for me.

miadsoriano

As parents, we only want what is best for our children. And as far as we are concerned, we always do the right thing by our children. Personally, and this may come as a cliche, I am a “work-in-progress”. I do not claim (and I know this is true for you and for other parents…well most of them at least) to be the perfect mom. But I sure do TRY my very best to be. I personally apply “The Golden Rule” when it comes to parenting and disciplining my kid…”Do unto others what you want done unto you”. Respect is another one. I respect my child and I would treat her the way I would want to be treated.

sheetal2900

It is very good point that you have raised in my lot because as a parent we have to understand the mentality of the child because he is not able to understand what we have to say to him and our point we have to explain him polity what is our issue by shout at child and make him doing as we say it wont work because tamperer he will do it but afterward again he will do as he want so we have to understand child’s point of view!!!

Would you give away your child after birth upon learning about the birth defect?

English: “This newborn is displaying the birth defect known as [:w:Polydactylia|Polydactylia] involving both feet.” (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
As others had opined, this is truly a tough question and scary to think about.

As an able mother, meaning one that has all the resources and readiness to take care of a child, giving a child with a birth defect is not an option. The child did not ask to be born. It is not even his or her fault to be with defect so why would a mother give away a child? A mother should love without conditions and that is the essence of it all.

Continue reading “Would you give away your child after birth upon learning about the birth defect?”

What fascinated me when I was young

A magnet made of alnico, an iron alloy. Ferrom...

As a young girl, I was fascinated with many things.  The coolest thing to me then was lifting magnets after discovering television.  To see things move on the other side of a piece of paper simultaneous with the movement of the magnet was really amazing.  Those times, I thought all things can be moved by a magnet.

About the television, I was in grade one when I saw one in the middle of the hallway to the second floor of the building in front of the stairs.  As a very young child who had not seen a television, I got fascinated and frightened at the same time trying to understand how those talking people inside the boob tube got so small.  A lot of possibilities ran through my head. I got so afraid but the fear was overcome by fascination and the need to discover.

I also got fascinated with learning.  I felt as a little child that sounds, words, numbers, pictures and books are magic.  I could not stop. I want more each day lessons from the teachers. The concept about young children likened to sponge was so true to me.

What fascinated you when you were a child?

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The Little Boy

I saw that young boy of about six or seven again.  He climbed the tricycle with his grandpa.  He was made to sit on an improvised little seat inside the tricycle.

He looked at me again with that same look he had when we first met.  But this time there were mixed emotions as he stared at my face.  As he stared, I stared back.  I did not really stare in a rude manner. I tried to paint a smile on my face.   I watched him intently, how his brows met each other, and how he pouted his lips.  He looked at me straight in the eye as if to challenge me with the game ‘who’s going to last staring’.

Then I began to wonder what he will be in the future.  Will he be an architect?  Will he be a doctor? Will he be a lawyer, or an engineer?  Or will he be a problem child?  Will he grow defiant of rules and regulations, and of laws?

His face is so innocent and precious.  As he struggled to explain to his grandpa the set of stickers he got in his hand, he sounded determined as he reminded him to take care of his little treasure.  Maybe he was afraid his grandpa will accidentally loose the set of stickers.

Then I was reminded of the other children in this road, the ones that roam along, night and day, hot or cold weather, barefooted and most of the time naked.  In that same road I traverse each day, the two brothers practically grew there.  Their house is just nearby – a shanty that can only hold about two people.  And they were nine in the family, excluding their parents.

Though these two little brothers were just children, there was another form of innocence in their faces.  It was very different from the boy in the tricycle.  They looked like they have many questions etched in their faces and they can only smile about the answers.

How will the boy in the tricycle react when he sees these children in the streets?  I wonder if he had already seen them.  If he had, how did he react?  What could have gone in his mind?

Photohunt: Low


Lee Ann is one of my favorite photo subjects.
Here you can see how LOW she looks after crying and she is still pretty!

Keyo here felt LOW after not getting what he wants. This little kid sounds like an adult, too.

Poor Jay! I am not used to seeing him this LOW. It was Kuya Raffy’s fault – he made him cry!

Photohunt‘s theme for today is LOW. Go and visit.

Photohunt: Low


Lee Ann is one of my favorite photo subjects.
Here you can see how LOW she looks after crying and she is still pretty!

Keyo here felt LOW after not getting what he wants. This little kid sounds like an adult, too.

Poor Jay! I am not used to seeing him this LOW. It was Kuya Raffy’s fault – he made him cry!

Photohunt‘s theme for today is LOW. Go and visit.

Photohunt: Low


Lee Ann is one of my favorite photo subjects.
Here you can see how LOW she looks after crying and she is still pretty!

Keyo here felt LOW after not getting what he wants. This little kid sounds like an adult, too.

Poor Jay! I am not used to seeing him this LOW. It was Kuya Raffy’s fault – he made him cry!

Photohunt‘s theme for today is LOW. Go and visit.

No Two Children are Alike

I think every parent knows that no two children are alike. Though parents have many children, there could never be an exact replica of the other. There maybe some who seem to be like the others but in summary, they are still unique individuals.

That is why we do not treat each child equally. That may seem odd to the ears but it must be. We should treat them according to their needs. If an offspring needs attention, then attention it must be. If another wants to play or talk with you most of the time, then you give that time to your child. If only one of them wants a MP3 while the rest are insisting on ipods, then give accordingly (if you can afford he he).

With this process of giving to your offspring what he or she needs, you also learn more about your children. You discover things with them, about them. You teach yourself the value of patience and understanding. You become a new person, or maybe a better person.

How do you treat your children? Do you treat them fair as in giving each child the same toy you gave to the first child? How about buying only one and teach them the value of sharing? I am very sure that each child see the toy differently and according to what he or she needs. It does not really require you to buy the same toys for all your children. Learn to know what they truly need.

The same concept applies when they grow up. Not everybody needs an ipod. Not all of them want a new outfit. Not all of them are sociable. Not all of them are easy to please. Therefore it is not necessary to give everything that you think should be given fair and square. Your children have different needs.

No Two Children are Alike

I think every parent knows that no two children are alike. Though parents have many children, there could never be an exact replica of the other. There maybe some who seem to be like the others but in summary, they are still unique individuals.

That is why we do not treat each child equally. That may seem odd to the ears but it must be. We should treat them according to their needs. If an offspring needs attention, then attention it must be. If another wants to play or talk with you most of the time, then you give that time to your child. If only one of them wants a MP3 while the rest are insisting on ipods, then give accordingly (if you can afford he he).

With this process of giving to your offspring what he or she needs, you also learn more about your children. You discover things with them, about them. You teach yourself the value of patience and understanding. You become a new person, or maybe a better person.

How do you treat your children? Do you treat them fair as in giving each child the same toy you gave to the first child? How about buying only one and teach them the value of sharing? I am very sure that each child see the toy differently and according to what he or she needs. It does not really require you to buy the same toys for all your children. Learn to know what they truly need.

The same concept applies when they grow up. Not everybody needs an ipod. Not all of them want a new outfit. Not all of them are sociable. Not all of them are easy to please. Therefore it is not necessary to give everything that you think should be given fair and square. Your children have different needs.

What Is the Best Photography Subject For You?

For me, the best photography subject is children. In my Squidoo lens, I wrote a page entitled ‘Why Children are the Best Photography Subjects’. This is why:

Little children are among the best photography subjects. In fact, they are number one for me. The innocence and the candidness of each picture of a child makes me want to point and shoot at them continuously to capture what they feel and how they react to their environment. We learn from them unconsciously. And this is the magic of capturing photos of little children. – Why Children are the Best Photography Subjects

What is the best photography subject for you? Please let me know.

What Is the Best Photography Subject For You?

For me, the best photography subject is children. In my Squidoo lens, I wrote a page entitled ‘Why Children are the Best Photography Subjects’. This is why:

Little children are among the best photography subjects. In fact, they are number one for me. The innocence and the candidness of each picture of a child makes me want to point and shoot at them continuously to capture what they feel and how they react to their environment. We learn from them unconsciously. And this is the magic of capturing photos of little children. – Why Children are the Best Photography Subjects

What is the best photography subject for you? Please let me know.