If we were having coffee…


That’s because I have known you for quite some time,  I’ll probably ask how life has been throwing a curve on you because it is what it’s been doing to me concurrently.  I am truly confused if I have to react to an ill person’s harsh words or just keep silent thinking that I might offend.

The problem with me is I burst like a soap-bubble when shitty things happen when I truly believe that I am already victorious in my endeavor to get things better for everybody.

That is not the case with ‘the beloved’, I realize.  He does not realize that his words are offensive and his attempts to bring up my past transgressions (my loud reactions to many things I deem awry, including his misdeeds).  Or maybe, those were intentional.  Maybe not.

If you ask me, I would prefer believing that he does not intend to hurt me.  I can feel the sincerity but the pain or the displeasure has been ignited already and it becomes too late sometimes to control the indignation I feel, to even realize that the last thing he would do is to hurt me.

The illness has changed a lot of things in our lives.  Maybe I have to consider closely that it is a possibility for him to fall short.  It is not intended.  I have to know because I am the wife.


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