Note: This is a topic I wrote once in a discussion board.We have to accept the fact that this happens or could happen to a lot of girls and women.
When I had my relationship with boyfriend turned husband, I had prepared myself of the truth that there is possibility that we can be separated, or that he will break up with me. Thinking about it, it literally makes the heart feel like it is being cut. I digress.
I thought before that if he breaks up with me, I will ask why and maybe further ask him if there is a chance for us to give the relationship another go as we discuss what went wrong. I will definitely not beg. It maybe painful but I will not beg for someone’s love.
we are still 2 years in our marriage and i did not think of that possibility ever. now, you had made me to think. Thank you very much for this discussion. That made me realize that I should think about this ahead of time just in case. so that we will be ready when the time comes. i am not sure what to do then. maybe, i’ll continue with my life without him even we think it will be terrible esp if you have children. it would be difficult and it will be a heartache. But life must go on and we should all move on so that we will not be stuck and forever be miserable!!! but by the meantime, i am trying to think positive! in that way, i will have a happy life! =p
Ouch..this is the word that came out of my mind the first time i read the title. Like you, I have already prepared myself for the possibility that my boyfriend might break up with me. We have been through a lot of ups and downs already and thinking of the future makes me think twice now. My boyfriend himself told a friend of his that there is still no certainty that we will end up together, although we had plans of getting married in the future, still both of us are uncertain. Especially now that we are apart .. I will most definitely not beg for him to go back to me, I will let him go. I now it’s very hard and even hurts a lot, but if that’s what he thinks is best for us and if that’s the only way to make him happy then i will surely let him go. Of course I will ask for an explanation and we should talk about it..it’s much harder if you don’t know what went wrong with the relationship.
I believe as I got older It was then I started to understand more. Although break ups are difficult and at times painful as I have gotten older, I have learned to tell myself that I did all I could do to preserve the relationship and well it just did not work. Although I say to myself, oh well it does not mean I do not hurt it is a way to comfort my feelings. As I too will absolutely not beg. When a man says to me it is over, that is all I have to hear, it is over no if and or but. I could quickly ask if his mind is made up and then oh well it just did not work.
Oh, dear that is really painful of course specially if he will leave for no reason or if the reason is the third party. For me, O will just let go. It’s better to die once than to die over and over again because of the so much pain that the relationship caused you. But as long as he loves me and I feel that he loves me, I will still hang on to the love we have for each other. I will just give him some space and time to think things over.
You have a strong will. I agree with you your idea. Never beg love’s another. They will not think little of women, special our love!!! Give our love to everyone who love me.
When my ex left it was a surprise. He was there and then he wasn’t.I didn’t have time to think about us parting. With my current guy? I can’t and won’t imagine us parting. We can talk over Everything . So if he falls out of love with me , I Know he will tell me and that’s when I’ll let him go. I love him that means I want him to be happy with or without me.
it is really hard to give advice since i myself went tru the same process of pushing myself to move on… well, if he did, try to focus on something, make yourself busy..
This is an awful experience.., I had a boyfriend who broke up with me.., I was hurt.., My pride was shattered and I wonder what I had done wrong.., The good thing about it was.., we have not been together for a long time and i didn’t fell for him that heavily yet.., so i was stood up after i stumbled and told myself that it was his loss.., not mine.., and i succeeded.., he tried more that 5 times to get back with me after a year.., but i never gave him the chance again..=)
well about me when i love a guy im totally blind. is like people say he is not the right guy and i dont care. i just trust that guy and then get hurt. also when they show they are not interested anymore but dont say it i cant understand it. is like i care so much that cant see the obvious. but for now i decided just like you say dont beg for someone’s love. i used to be after the person when there are arguements but i just decided i wont bcs is always me getting hurt and nervous. if the guy really loves me he will come to me without i do any 🙂 and i have to trust this 🙂
I remembered the first time that happened to me, I actually begged of him not to leave me. I think I was so stupid for doing that and if I remember it now, I could just laugh at myself. Anyway, it happened to me again after a few years but I didnt beg anymore. I am just so glad now I didnt end up with them.
t is very clear that the person has no feelings for you anymore thats why he is breaking up with you. i know it is hard but if i were you you just don’t bother asking him what went wrong. once its over its really over. you just have to pull yourself together and move on.
I have no idea. Really. I have thought about it of course, but just the thought of him leaving me is just really heart breaking. Though I totally agree with you that I would never beg for him to love me. I mean, it’s still his life, and if he chooses to be without me or with another woman, then I don’t think I can do anything about it anymore, I would just show him what he lost, and that it is his lost in the end and not mine, even if it breaks my heart badly. Hehe.
I will ask him to wait until our children to be old enough to understand. Maybe for another 3 years.It’s because right now I can’t be separate from my kids. And when a couple get divorce, they will divide the kids or maybe he will have a schedule for taking my kids to his place. And I don’t want that, at least not now,when they still need me. But if the reason is because he had an affair, then I won’t wait longer, and get divorce as quick as I can, since according to the law, I’ll get full custody on my kids, and he will get only a visit time with my permission.
…in my manly opinion..=)…there is nothing wrong in begging if you really love someone..begging once is enough, at least you show that you love that person and you want to fight for him back to your life….however, if he turns you down, that means it is not your lost, but his lost…loving someone always have its consequences, and that is to be prepared of everything, that includes getting hurt and hurting others…although, i know that girls do have their pride as a woman, but pride should not be the ruler of love…=)
I agree we shouldn’t beg for love. Breaking up with a boyfriend/ girlfriend is a part of seeking the right one for you. Yet, breaking up in the middle of marriage needs time to work things out and if the enough time comes, then you decide. Love isn’t begging.
Good for you, for bagging will be a 1000 times stroke to this inconsiderate cow’s ego. If he breaks up with me of course I would be distress for obvious reasons but do I force love out of someone for me, of course not. Personally I would not even ask if there’s a chance for us because obviously he must have given the break up a good thought before he comes to confront so I WILL CERTAINLY LET HIM GO IN PEACE FOR IT MEANS IT WAS NOT MEANT TO BE. Grieve for a couple of days, wipe the tears and go on. There more to life!!!!
I myself just tried to move on My ex husband walked out we had alot going wrong in our marriage and a tragedy that we just could not overcome by being together at the time I know that now….I moved on the best I could with my 2 kids and me and kept going forward…Now my ex and I are talking again and he has come back to me I have not begged him sometimes people just need to be apart…It’s taken 2 and half years for my ex to realize his heart is with me and his kids and I am scared every day now that I’m giving him another chance again of a broken heart….But I will be careful and do what is right for me and my kids…I hope that you get what your heart desires.
Just like most women do, we would ask why? Probably what have we done wrong for him to let us go? And, I’d insist an answer, an honest answer. However, I will not ask for a second chance with him. I don’t believe in that. When one decided to let go, it means that he/she had thought of it a thousand and one times before finally blurting it out. He/She has weighed things putting everything into consideration. When it is over for him, then, it is also over for me. Like you, I will not beg. I am not a beggar and I’m sure I will find someone a lot better than he is…
If this will happen to me, probably I won’t be able to handle it. I just can’t imagine myself in that kind of situation. Yes for breakups, but if HE will be the one who will break up with me then that’s a different story. Although we are now living in the modern world, I still hope that my man would still be gentleman enough to not do that to me. I can accept if he’ll show me that he no longer like/love me and wait for me to break up with him instead of him breaking up with me. I envy you because you’re already prepared.
If he breaks up with me, I’m not sure what I’ll do. I’ll be too heartbroken and hurt to think. Yes, I’m readying myself for that possibility, but no matter how ready you think you get, when it happens you will go crazy specially when you give everything you can to that person. My boyfriend cheated on me once, if he breaks up with me, I’ll be ok with it. For me it would be better than him cheating on me again.