Complicated Love – Story #5

What do I think about a May (January)-December affair?

Freddie Aguilar
Cover of Freddie Aguilar

Recently, there was this news about the (in)famous Freddie Aguilar, and his affair with a 16 year-old girl. I have to admit that I was one of those who reacted nonconformably to the news.  It is but normal for a mother of a young girl to feel aghast that her young daughter is in a relationship with a 60 year-old man who is more than two decades older than her.

To wrap up the story that had circulated, Ka Freddie and his girlfriend met in a campaign sortie.  He didn’t know that the girl was only 16 because she looked physically mature for her age.  After that event, the affair began which triggered differing opinions and reactions from netizens and the common people alike when a photo was posted in a social network.

My thoughts:

An online psychologist wrote his views about the affair, stating the probable reasons why Ka Freddie fell for a very much younger girl and why the girl also fell for a very much older man.  It was a careful assessment ranging from his ‘biological wiring’ to his psychological gain.

I am not opposed to a May (January)-December affair only if the girl is with age.  By this, I mean the girl is more mature physically and mentally.  I would even include that the girl must be emotionally mature, too, but maturity can also vary among different individuals.   So with a woman aged 35 and with a lover aged 71, for example, that would be acceptable for me.

Why, one may ask? Contrary to notions that these older men have their foremost desires to be with a very much younger girl (in their teens) because they wanted to have partners with great child-bearing potential or have great chance of producing healthier offspring, I think most old men (especially those with children already from previous relationships) will not consider this (having a baby, or having babies) a priority thought in desiring to have a very much younger woman.  Having babies would require much of his responsibility and he would be back again to zero, taking care of a baby that would require physical presence, strength, and enough resources.  Who would want that when you are at your prime just wanting to enjoy the remaining years of your life?

No, I don’t believe it is about having babies.  I would agree that it is more about the psychological gain that even if he is already 60, he has a trophy girlfriend (from the daughter’s view).  As a woman, I feel upset with the notion that women (including young girls) are treated like mere trophies.  It is with allowing this ‘culture’ why men debase women.

Ka Freddie deserves his right to be in love, I do not contradict that but enough with the ‘talking about having babies’ crap.  I hope with his love, he would let the young girl grow and learn more about life than being stuck blindly to the idea that this is what life is for her.  I believe the young girl also dreams about many things, unless she is made to believe otherwise.

————

From Wikipedia:

Freddie Aguilar known as Ka Freddie Aguilar is a folk musician from the Philippines.  He is best known for his rendition of “Bayan Ko“, which became the anthem for the opposition to the Marcos regime during the 1986 People Power Revolution, and for his song “Anak“, the best-selling Philippine music record of all time. He is heavily associated with Pinoy rock.

He is well known internationally, and within the Philippines and Asia-Pacific region, claiming fame as one of the best musician-songwriters of the Philippines.

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2 thoughts on “Complicated Love – Story #5

  1. Like you, I wouldn't condemn it out of hand. I think it very much depends on the two people involved. If there's truly love, I don't think the age is important, as long as both parties are old enough to know what love is and realize that it's a lot of work.

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