A Parent’s Lament

An icon illustrating a parent and child

When one feels indebted in her role as a mother, she gets confused if she is already crossing the line against her children’s own set of principles.  Then there is this nagging truth that they are already young adults and are trying to live their own in their own ways.  Sometimes though it can be annoying when children forget about little things like house rules where a mother or a father or a guardian is held hostage by love that demands understanding and patience.  Most of the time, a lot of these are required.

I am not demanding homage like they have to put me, and my other half, at the pedestal. Some parents can be this demanding. I give them freedom as much as I would want it given me – in generous amounts but taking into account sensibility or an emotional response to situations when needed.  Children at times though can be illogical, or irrational, even with kindness pushing parents to brinks of disgust .

It can be exasperating, I know, to always try to be fair and sensible when children do not seem to realize the effort it takes to at least become one good parent if not perfect.

I give myself time to ponder my own ways and principles. I frequently talk to my other half about assorted feelings of annoyance, frustration, or indignation.  It can be gratifying to have someone equally sensible and understanding, though we do not agree all the time, to stay sharp.  I think we both need these moments to keep afloat.

A parent’s lament is different from one to another.  I have mine, as I conceive it, as spice to this wonderful life as a mother, as a parent, as a friend to a child though I am his or her parent, and as a co-parent.  I have to say that there are more boons than snags.

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4 thoughts on “A Parent’s Lament

  1. effective parenting adapts to the development of the child.

    i try to remember that my relationship with my kids should change. my parents, as i was growing up, saw me as always the kid, the son. i would often argue that i was old enough to hold an opinion and almost wise enough to contradict theirs.


  2. at times, it is not really the argument between the parent and the child but the attempt to prove that a parent is wrong. 😦


  3. that's a problem. when does a child begin to contradict and aim to prove that he is right? why does a child resort to refuting his parents?

    how can we avoid similar situations from happening?

    if a parent communicates that he/she is always right, then the child will try to disprove it.


  4. hi, beatburn. good questions. sorry not to be able to answer at once, been caught in the web of busy skeds.

    as to when – as early as puberty sets in. as to why – there are a number of reasons – peer influence, hormone change, identity crisis, domineering parents, etc. one of the reasons will stay, i think, depending on how things are going in the minds of the child, or around him or her.

    as to how to avoid – there are a number of ways, too. what works depends again on how much influence other people have on your child, and most of the time, these people are with your child longer than you are with them. the outside world is the teacher that influences a large part of what constitutes the child, and how much influence a parent can infuse. it's all a matter of choice, anyway, in the end.

    not all good parents are rewarded for what they had sacrificed for their children. it's sad to say this but it's a fact for some parent-child relations.


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