Most of Us Parents are Afraid

Daughter and Son with me

While watching Desperate Housewives (I do not even know if it is a rerun), the voice over uttered, “And so, there are many different parenting styles, and most parents are afraid if they are doing it right.”

There were stages that I really got anxious if I was doing it right.  I had come to a point of assessing my style, and what I have done right or wrong.  I believe most, if not all, parents come to this point of having to gauge their ‘performance’ as parents.

I once wrote Being a Good Parent is not guarantee.  I believe it is so.  The influences our children acquire outside the house are varied, and sometimes they can be unreliable.  As parents, we do not have control over them.  We are left with pleading and imploring the Absolute Being above to take care of them and keep watch over them when we’re not around.

Admittedly, it makes me afraid all the time if we, hubby and I, are doing it right.  It has never left our care and concern.  But I know we could only do so much because they are growing individuals finding their own identity.  We cannot resign as parents but we have to give the freedom to find themselves and what they could contribute to humanity, even in their small ways.



8 thoughts on “Most of Us Parents are Afraid

  1. I know how you feel. We can only do our best as we think it is at the time. I went through some difficulties with my children as they were growing up. We even had to involve 'professionals'. The professionals served to bring us all closer together.

    They've all turned out to be good grown ups,- the kind of people I'd like to meet!

    Your two look fine.


  2. from Ric Ursua on Facebook:
    This is what I believe. “Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it.” (Proverbs 22:6). What does this mean? A child must be trained to have faith and depend on God. How can this be done? Children must see that their parents are living a life of personal and deep relationship with God through Jesus. Christ must be the Lord of their house through whom they base their daily routine or extraordinary decisions. When children see their parents conduct their lives this way, they will do the same as they grow and parents need not fear if they are parenting their children right because God will do the rest.


  3. hi, anji! glad they all turned up good grown ups. 🙂 as to my children, they are not really 'problems' to their parents. they are even achievers. the daughter, who's the eldest, graduated with honors in college. she is working now but i guess there are certain things a parent expects and wants but i know, we know, that my children are different and unique individuals and they have certain qualities we may or may not agree with.

    Reply to Ric Ursua on Facebook:
    What faith and trust you have. Still, I know of some God-fearing parent(s) (with the same faith as yours) having problems with their child (ren). In their homes, God is the center, as they claim to be, starting the day with prayers, praying before eating, attending bible studies, and still they experience problems with their children. Some of the children did not graduate, some chose to follow what they like. 🙂


  4. from Ric Ursua on Facebook:

    That doesn't mean that they failed. If Christ is really the center of the parents' lives, God will meet their children somewhere in their lives and they too will have to decide one way or the other just like how their parents decided to accept and follow Christ in their lives. Just like I stated, parents will do their part to show an example and if they sincerely do, they need not fear because God will do the rest. Even children will have their “Damascus” moment as they grow.


  5. Reply on Facebook:

    And that is the hope that parents must cling to, that the children will someday find God in their lives. Thank you for your thoughts. All parents have to learn from this one. 🙂


  6. from Ric Ursua on Facebook:

    If I may add, “graduate” is not and should not be the only measure of success. The world's richest people did not even finish college, if we can even consider wealth as success which also isn't. For me, inner peace, which only comes from God, is.


  7. I seriously lose sleep worrying about how much (emotional) baggage I am packing for my kids. I know I can influence them until they're solidly in their teen years but then they're going to make their own choices with regard to peer pressure.

    And that's what scares me the most.


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