No wedding invitations to be given out, no birthday invites either. “But it is your birthday,” you will argue. “How come there is no celebration? You are kidding me.”
There is celebration, my friend. Actually, everyday I celebrate life. Who would not if it is the highest form of gift given to me (and to everybody who had lived, and are still living)? Should I not be thankful that I was given this opportunity? “But yours is not a perfect life, it’s even akin to lacking in many things. You are not even living a sufficient life.”
I think that depends on how people define ‘sufficient’. If you relate it to the abundance of money, then I do not have a sufficient life. But if you know how my childhood days went, I can say that I have a life that could pass to satisfactory though it won’t if you measure it with the plethora of material possessions that rich men have.
“That is crazy and fake,” you will insist. “People live life to the fullest when he or she has all the resources needed to do all the things he or she wants, to go to places that he or she desires, and to see and meet the nicest people on earth.”
It makes me sad. Not because I do not have those resources but because sufficiency is defined with such narrow meaning. I think it all depends on a person, and I know you know what I mean.
At 45, I am a mother of two. I was able to survive the challenges being almost the sole breadwinner. I do not mean to insult my better half, nor reduce his person. Being physically challenged because of an illness, he had done and accomplished a lot for the whole thing to work out. He had actually contributed to my becoming a better person though I am still not perfect. I was blessed to be given good things in life with him and had tried to share it, when given the chance, without regret to others.
At 45, I learned that happiness is a choice. I learned that pin-ups do not care, it is an illusion that they do. I learned that friendship can turn the best and the worst in a person. I learned that being a good parent is not guarantee. I learned that as a woman, you can do things more than what is expected of the ‘weaker’ gender. I learned that life here on earth is temporal but could have a continuation that can be good or bad. It actually depends on having confidence on things I don’t see.
“You know what, I have a feeling that your hubby will be arriving this afternoon with that bilao of pansit*. I will not be eating my lunch!” you are not taking no for answer. Then starve, my friend.