I chose not to know what a friend has to tell me because of a suspicion that something hush-hush is going between her and the boss. It is not a surprise to learn that it is true. What is surprising is for her to confirm it in a playful manner to another. What would be the motive then?
Years before, I told her that what is important is whatever one has to do, one has to bind herself to the principle of not deliberately hurting other people, or step on their shoes, or wreck their person. I thought I was clear. I thought she must have pondered on what I have said. I thought she was better than what others perceived her to be.
I gave the benefit of the doubt. Now that it’s confirmed, I felt sad. I do not know how to react when I come face to face with her. I hope she will not say a word about it. I am not ready to hear it.
I am afraid that I would be so blunt to say something that would not help. I am afraid that it would kill my feelings towards a friend. Though I know it is a personal thing, and it does not have anything to do with whatever we have, I am still not sure what effect it would give to our relationship.