This was previously posted on April 26, 2007. But my hosted Warmstone site was lost because the person I was in contact with about the hosting suddenly disappeared. He just left everybody hanging without formally telling us what happened. But life has to go on and I have to move on even if it meant loosing all the files from late 2006 to early 2009. But I digress.
Anyway, you might be wondering why I chose to cite this old post for a Father’s Day celebration. These facts and realities are all part of my life with Papsie (my husband). Death, for example, is such a cruel reality that Papsie has been telling me to make preparations of. What he means simply is, I have to be ready, he has to be ready, when that sinister emissary of death comes. Easy said than done. But this is not a matter of choice but of acceptance though I always have this fear inside me. I just don’t feel confident being without him in this world.
That is a sad thought for this celebration, eh? I just realized how important my husband is to me; that Papsie is right telling me that when I get angry or pissed off with him, I have to count the good times and the bad times. That would definitely wash away all my anger. And true, life with Papsie is more laughter than tears. Nobody can equal that with the many riches in this world like how a pleasant natural sleep cannot be bought by zillions of money.
Over the week, I had been contemplating on some of life’s facts and realities:
With a number of relatives dying (there is a total of 5 deaths this week), I cannot help but think once again about death, which I have written before. Life is indeed transitory. We only live once, we only die once. I don’t know about other people but I don’t think we can be ‘repeaters’ just like in college where we enroll for the subject again to make up for the failures. This leads me to watch over my mouth and my actions and filter my thoughts. While others wanted a ‘free’ life, I choose to live life according to what is right, and Godly. Difficult, eh? But there is nothing easy trying to achieve something.
Friends come and go. It may hurt to feel that those you consider as friends do not reciprocate the friendship you offer. The feeling that I am taken for granted is always a big lump in my throat. Probably they have reasons like my reasons when I suddenly detach myself from a relation. And probably they have reasons not like my reasons. I don’t care anymore. This, too, will pass.
Is it fair to judge a person because of the kind of family he or she has? Often times, people has this tendency to utter words like “Di ba kamag-anak mo ‘yan?” (Isn’t he or she your relative?) It is giving me the impression that good or bad, that person (who is a relative) is a mirror image of a particular person. I say it is not fair. Every person has his unique persona and it will not be reasonable to say he is this and that because his relative is this and that.
I fear the time that I will be without Papsie.
Poverty, Poor People, the Government
We went to a funeral at Malabon and passed by a squatter’s area which is worse than any squatter’s area I have seen. Going home, we passed by another squatter’s area, and I don’t know if it’s connected with the first we saw. The picture was overwhelming in the sense that it could make anybody squirm with mixtures of pity, horror, and anger. The area teeming with people in squalor is not an easy picture to look at. What is the government doing about this? Have they not seen these places? Surely the boob tube has been feeding them bits of this squalor every now and then, but what have they done? How can they sleep with comfort, and feed their mouths with food galore? How can they live a life with their constituents, who had seated them, in moral degradation?
Friend C* sent me a funny, funny SMS with this note:
… sa mga kapwa ko mabait, maganda, masipag, matalino at halos walang kapintasang mga misis, pakibati na lang ang mga masuswerteng lalaki na nakajackpot sa atin ng HAPPY FATHER’S DAY!
Di naman conceited, ‘no?