Age Does Not Matter

The popular thought “Age does not matter’ has been toying in mind the past few days. There is someone I know who is being wooed by someone almost twice her age. It made me worry actually. There are questions in mind that have been floating. I am talking about love between two individuals whose ages are distant.

Being married to someone who is only a year older than me, I do not know actually how a relationship between two individuals with a wide age range in between will work. I mean, I have been with my husband for long years and I say we complement each other very well and I connect it to us being in the same age range. I had believed it played a big part on the success of our relation. Or was it?

A friend shared her innermost beliefs on men particularly who sought younger women as their romantic partners. She views it as a vehicle for them to use or take advantage of (and/or abuse) these young women. For her, young women (especially those who are in their teens to their early twenties) chased by adult men is grotesque. She simply does not trust these men.

I silently disagree. It is for me irrational to generalize. Not all men are alike as it is with women. It is for me judgmental, too. We cannot just judge people with how they look. There are people who look like angels but deep within they are a*holes. It is still character that counts and it is the hardest to discern in a person. It takes a great deal of time to prove that one is worth. Let us say, for example, a mature man asks a young girl to go some remote place without asking her parents’ permission. How do you, as a parent, assess the act?

There are, for me, advantages for May-December affairs as clipped from Ipanema’s post about it. She had listed down some observations about an older man in a relationship with a younger woman:

  • more patient
  • …more understanding
  • …easily gives in to a stubborn woman
  • …takes blame to stop argument
  • …open car’s door for me
  • …more sensitive – asks me where I want to eat, shop, etc…of course he paid
  • …his wallet is always ready even if I offer to share
There may be disadvantages, too, which are induced mostly by insecurities. It is important therefore that young women have to be very careful and observant. There are wolves in sheep’s clothing that still prowl and they can be mellowed or inexperienced.

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12 thoughts on “Age Does Not Matter

  1. Hi Bing,

    I don't think age is a major factor in compatibility. Sure at first glance, it may seem like a May-Dec relationship is grotesque (your word not mine, hihihihi), but we don't really know what's going on inside that relationship. Every relationship is different and what makes a one tick is beyond me, really.

    I married a younger man. Did not ask for his age when I started dating him, nor he mine. I simply assumed we're close in age, within range. Then I found out that he was really young, but by then the roots of love has deeply set in and since we were compatible age has not been a hindrance to our happiness. I think I was a cougar before Demi Moore snagged her Ashton, I keep telling my hubby that 🙂

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  2. Of course people do what they want… but I think people should marry in their own age brackets…and with people that are compatible with each other.
    Married life isn't that easy so why make it even more difficult by adding age, cultural and background differences.

    Ipanema's arguments aren't very strong ones… it should not be about a “young sexy body” in exchange for “money and security”.

    It might look ok for a twenty something girl to marry someone who is forty. But when she will be 50 she is stuck with a man of 70…

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  3. age is just a number. i still think that it is the maturity of the person to enter into a relationship that matters. although i am not a fan of may-december affair, i certainly have no objection if they find true love and happiness despite their age gap. it is their lives anyway.

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  4. yes, grotesque as in strange or ugly, photo cache. my word and not my thought, but my friend's. 🙂

    i believe, too, that every relationship is different. i think as long as two mature individuals love each other despite the age gap, a relationship will tick, and it would entirely depend on them. but what i am worried about (and probably my friend's concern, too) is when an underage girl is chased by a very mature man given the fact that they still are not mature and ready enough for a serious relationship.

    i truly agree, sidney. age, culture and background differences should not be the primal reasons.

    age is just a number. a cliche so true, lawstude. and i do agree that it is maturity that counts. my thoughts exactly.

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  5. age doesn't matter as long as the purpose of the union has nothing to do with money, money, money.

    There are those that truly fall in love despite the age gap and there are those who marry for convenience.

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  6. I am 8 years senior over my wife, but it worked for us. My maturity saved our marriage and she will attest to that. i have been a father, a brother and a friend to her..and now we are on our 8 years of marriage and her maturity now compliments mine..

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  7. it worked because you are a kind and responsible person, kuya ronnie. 🙂 but alas, not every body has the chance to meet and marry guys like you.

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  8. My last romance was with a woman 12 years my senior, and am now in love with one 11 years my junior. I did not plan either romance.

    When some one says that they “know” what my “type” is, I can find apoint in my life where i loved someone different.

    I know my current partner loves me dearly. I never predict the future. I can only hope this will last.

    But, formula, and cookie cutters fail me.

    Bing, all people have something to offer someone else. I am happy to hear your story. I hope it continues to get better

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