Well, this is just one of those I hate. To feel too much makes me too tired.
‘You know how it feels to be like a balloon full of water ready to burst anytime? It feels like it is welling and these emotional susceptibilities are ready to break loose.
I am no superwoman and yet I desire to be one. Whew! Boy, I sound like an emotionalist.
(written the morning after)
I woke up late this morning. I did not have much sleep. What with the grunts coming from a drunk partner. I tried to close my eyes but I cannot have my ears closed. I wanted to let the situation be – him grunting and me ignoring. I ended up dabbing his face with a towel dipped in hot (err… warm) water. He pulled a face while I was doing it, probably there was some sense left. He could still grimace.
All throughout the night, he was grunting. I did not know what time, but probably it was way past midnight when I blanked over.
I woke up late from a soft kiss planted on my thigh (yes, on my thigh) and soft pats and a soft voice coming from someone trying to make amends. I listened. Then suddenly, as if recalling everything, I burst out (but not with the level of anger the night before) pretending to be angry still. He was laughing. Yes, he was laughing at me (and at everything I was telling him he did). Then he told me he’s sorry and that he didn’t know what he was doing (which is still a very big question to me – do drunk people really forget what had happened?). And as I have told, he was trying to make amends, to compensate from everything he (unknowingly?) did. Breakfast was ready with my favorite combination of tuyo, fried egg (with no salt) and fried rice. Really good coffee was also prepared.
After breakfast, Kay played her favorite Growing Old With You, by Adam Sandler. I told him to listen especially to the last stanza.
I wanna make you smile whenever youre sad
Carry you around when your arthritis is bad
All I wanna do is grow old with you
Ill get your medicine when your tummy aches
Build you a fire if the furnace breaks
Oh it could be so nice, growing old with you
Ill miss you
Ill kiss you
Give you my coat when you are cold
Ill need you
Ill feed you
Even let ya hold the remote control
So let me do the dishes in our kitchen sink
Put you to bed if youve had too much to drink
I could be the (wo)man who grows old with you
I wanna grow old with you
For better or for worse…